National hopes Simon Bridges will broaden its appeal to other young, Maori former Cabinet ministers

In its embrace of what has come to be known as a “generational shift,” the opposition National Party hopes that its election of Simon Bridges as leader will help attract voters who, like Bridges [...]

Sky’s new starter package just a cable in a box

Sky’s new starter package has disappointed some new subscribers, who have described the service as “just a cable in a box.” In an attempt to attract new customers, and slow the steady decline of its subscription base, New Zealand’s national satellite TV provider has offered [...]

Other News

And if thou gaze long enough into an abyss, the abyss will also gaze into thee.

Jeremy Wells can’t use own bathroom without being haunted by ghost of Mike Hosking

Jeremy Wells, co-host of Seven Sharp and Hauraki’s 3 hour morning sex advice segment, is finding it increasingly hard to sleep, as the ghost of Mike Hosking continually reappears in his bathroom. Friends of Wells say he has yet to determine whether the apparition lives in the bathroom itself, or […]

PICTURED: Crude oil from Simon Bridges' scalp fills Wellington's harbour.

Oil from Simon Bridges’ hair causes horrific spill in Oriental Bay

A state of emergency has been declared in Wellington this morning, after a leak in the hairline of National Party leadership contender Simon Bridges resulted in a spillage of close to fifty tonnes of crude oil into Oriental Bay and the surrounding harbour region. Preliminary assessments have blamed the spill […]

National’s Todd McClay said the meeting was “robust” at times but the outcome was “much better” than they had anticipated.

Winston Peters said nothing in talks with National, just walked around room with a box cutter

Details have emerged of yesterday’s preliminary coalition meeting between National and New Zealand First, with confirmed reports that Winston Peters did not utter a word during the thirty minute meeting, to which he arrived late. As Prime Minister Bill English – accompanied by Gerry Brownlee and Steven Joyce – sat […]

The fuck is this?

Look what you’ve done, New Zealand

Look what you’ve done. Look at it. Don’t pretend you don’t know what that is. You know exactly what it is. That is exactly what it looks like, and you knew exactly what you were doing. Don’t laugh. It’s not funny. How many times? How many times have you been […]

This woman, identified as Labour leader Jacinda Ardern, spent today walking around Auckland malls shaking people’s hands and picking up their children.

Skirting the law: Was it legal for Jacinda Ardern to walk around malls all day wearing a bag over her head?

The Electoral Commission says it’s investigating complaints that Labour leader Jacinda Ardern spent most of election day walking around malls, meeting supporters and shaking hands. Her activity – which strongly resembles campaigning – would be illegal under electoral law, but it is understood Ms. Ardern took the significant precaution of […]

The Prime Minister hates us but we voted for him anyway.

Bill English held a press conference to say he hates everyone but electoral law made it illegal to report until now

Prime Minister Bill English held a press conference at 1pm this afternoon to tell all New Zealanders that he hates them, and that he can’t stand their “stupid fucking faces.” But due to electoral law – which doesn’t permit the publishing of any politically influential content between midnight and 7pm […]