KiwiBuild house prices soar, finding new value as a collector’s item

KiwiBuild home owners are experiencing a surprise windfall this month, as the price of their houses have begun to rise dramatically, due to growing interest in them as collector’s items. Home collectors from abroad have shown a renewed [...]

Andrew Yang demonstrates dangers of AI future by replacing self with uncharismatic, lifeless robot

US Presidential hopeful and doomsday prophet Andrew Yang went to extreme lengths to make a point in [...]

Other News

PICTURED: Judith Collins and her chief benefactor (inset)

Simon Bridges only able to separate Collins from infrastructure portfolio with human sacrifice to Baal

When Simon Bridges resolved to wrestle the infrastructure portfolio from perennial rival Judith Collins this week, he had to utilize a mechanism not usually exercised in the halls of Parliament. Removing a portfolio from Collins has historically been seen as more trouble than it’s worth. When the fourth ranked National […]

PICTURED: Folau's updated list of hell-bound sinners.

Shunned and isolated, depressed Israel Folau revises list of sins to remove “drunks”

Following a difficult week for Israel Folau, under fire and alleged financial pressure due to his public condemnation of homosexuals, the former rugby union star has revised the list that landed him in this situation in the first place. Folau was sacked from the Wallabies by Rugby Australia last month, […]

BREAKING: Treasury Secretary confirms emails hacked after they disappear from his outbox

BREAKING: Treasury Secretary confirms emails hacked after they disappear from his outbox

In developing news late this evening, Treasury Secretary Gabriel Makhlouf has confirmed to media that another security breach has occurred in his department, after his emails seemed to completely disappear from his outbox. Makhlouf is not sure where exactly his emails have gone or who has stolen them, but the […]

The unusual and wildly off-topic rant occurred for the exact duration of Peters' speech.

Sign language interpreter goes on colourful, profane, abusive rant for duration of Winston Peters’ budget address

A parliamentary sign language interpreter has been criticised for going on a bizarre, profane rant against several National Party MPs during Deputy Prime Minister Winston Peters’ post-budget address. Deaf New Zealanders watching the speech were horrified as the interpreter apparently went way off script, forgoing addressing the budget in favour […]

Robertson refuses to release budget; says you’ll just have to find it on the website

Robertson refuses to release budget; says you’ll just have to find it on the website

After a world-first role reversal in which the Government’s website crashed its budget, Finance Minister Grant Robertson has bitterly refused to publicly release the document today, saying that if people want it, they’ll “just have to go find it.” “Seeing as you’re so fucking good at it,” he added. Robertson […]

Charlie O'Brien, 16, has single-handedly destroyed the SEO value of every other Charlie O'Brien in New Zealand.

Kid on swing embodies Kiwi dream by going back and forth and never getting anywhere

Some fucking kid has sat on a swing for 32 hours and inspired hope in a nation otherwise desperate for a hero. Hate runs rampant, political consensus seems unachievable, and it’s next to impossible to get a Buzz Bar, but New Zealanders today are heartened to know that some fucking […]