The Blues to tape over Sonny Bill Williams for upcoming fixtures

Blues CEO Michael Redman says that star player Sonny Bill Williams will continue to play for the team, but will be taped over with thick black tape during upcoming fixtures [...]

MetService apologises for mistaking cloud for cyclone

New Zealand’s national weather forecasting service has apologised to the country today for misforecasting a large cloud as a potentially catastrophic cyclone, formerly known as Cook, or the [...]

Other News

The Greens: Because you take great pride in riding your bicycle to your coal-heated workplace

The Greens: Because you take great pride in riding your bicycle to your coal-heated workplace

In many places in this great, impenetrable Anglosphere of ours, voters and non-voters alike are increasingly dissatisfied with their political choices. They’ve realised that by continuing to vote for the same handful of parties over and over, all they’re doing is reaching reasonable compromises any functioning society needs to make […]

PICTURED: Cyclone 2: Many Cook spoils the Beach

After much deliberation over catchy ways to refer to storm, media settles on ‘Cyclone 2: Many Cook spoils the Beach’

The open deliberation over how to refer to Cyclone Cook in media reports has been days in the process, with some referring to it as the Cookopalypse, while the New Zealand Herald pitched in with its suggestion of the “Cookie Monster.” But as of tonight, while the storm travels south, […]

Weather is a thing that determines what the sky is like.

TVNZ measuring strength of storm in different locations by how wet and injured their reporters become

Tonight, as Cyclone Cook barrels into the East Coast of the upper North Island, TVNZ have stationed more than a dozen reporters in different parts of the country, in an effort to measure the effects of the storm based on how wet and damaged said journalists become. From Auckland all […]

A photograph released by the Pentagon shows the Pepsi being shaken vigorously until it launches.

In bid to ease tensions, Trump authorises firing 59 Pepsi cans at Syrian military base

In a dramatic twist in the Syrian conflict, U.S. President Donald Trump has ordered the firing of nearly 60 cans of Pepsi at a military installation just south of Homs. The move comes in response to a horrific chemical attack carried out on civilians by the regime of Bashar al-Assad, […]

By Prime Minister Bill English.

Opinion: I, too, am a human. Look at my failure. It is like your failure.

Hello fellow humans. Thank you for reading my thoughts on your electronic interface. It is a pleasure to be divulging them to you. While I have been very busy running our country of fellow human beings like me, I have also been taking what the kids call some “time out” […]

The town of Dannevirke hasn’t seen rain precisely like this on a Thursday for at least a thousand years.

Tararua Mayor says rain falling at a 61 degree angle to total accumulation of 17.2mm on a Thursday is ‘one in 1,000 year event’

While Whakatane deals with catastrophic flooding from what media are calling a one in 500 year event (following last week’s one in 100 year event, and last year’s one in 200 year event), the town of Dannevirke is dealing with a historic deluge of its own.* Tracey Collins, the mayor […]