Getting completely smashed every night may be good for your health, say nutritionists

A study from a British University suggests that getting outrageously sloshed on alcohol every night of the week may be good for your health. The study, conducted by nutritionists Gerard Little and Lillian McGee, closely monitored 103 students from [...]

Opinion: John Key calls me every morning at 3am and I can’t take it anymore

It all started four years ago, on March 11th, 2011. It was only shortly after the most devastating of the Christchurch earthquakes, and myself and my family were just [...]

Other News

Little man goes brrr so it’s gonna be a cold ’un.

MetService to replace detailed forecast with little man that either shivers or wears sunglasses

New Zealand’s national weather forecasting service, MetService, has announced this morning that it will do away with its traditional method of forecasting, which involves confusing graphs and numbers, and replace it with a streamlined forecast featuring a little cartoon man who will either shiver or wear sunglasses and give a […]

How to rid your home of pesky tuatara this winter

How to rid your home of pesky tuatara this winter

With winter only just around the proverbial corner, every New Zealander knows that can mean only one thing: an unwanted infestation of tuatara. As the weather gets colder, these ubiquitous pests will try and find warm places to shelter for the season. This often means taking up residence in city […]

MediaWorks wants Campbell Live viewers to be assured that the company has “got the message.”

TV3 heeds public feedback; will replace Campbell Live with show about petitions

MediaWorks head of news and current affairs Mark Jennings says the company has been “listening closely” to public reaction over the potential axing of long-running 7pm show Campbell Live, and will be “heeding that feedback” as a consultation process moves forward. It was reported late yesterday afternoon that MediaWorks, which […]

TVNZ insists that Hosking is excited for no reason in particular, and just really enjoys reading “quality news.”

No telling how large Mike Hosking’s erection is right now

Experts say there is “really no way” to know just how intensely physically aroused Seven Sharp presenter Mike Hosking is this evening, though those close to the talkback host suspect the answer is “quite a lot.” Hosking, who is said to be in an “exuberant” mood at this hour, became […]

Misprint sees new bank notes feature David Bain, Nek Minute guy

Misprint sees new bank notes feature David Bain, Nek Minute guy

An embarrassing misprint of New Zealand’s new bank notes has resulted in them featuring images of David Bain, Jon Gadsy, and the Nek Minute guy, in a mistake that the Reserve Bank now says is irreversible. The Bank has been preparing for the distribution of the new-look notes, due for […]

The international community is spiralling to the brink of nuclear warfare and South Africa are currently 216-3 at 38 overs.

Prime Minister assassinated, nuclear bomb detonated; no one notices because cricket

The Prime Minister is dead and the Syrian city of Damascus is aflame tonight, though neither of these developments have yet been covered by media, as journalists gorge themselves on Australia’s national game of paddle-ball. The paddle-ball, which is proving to be the most popular international sporting event in New […]