All the news that's fit on a page 
Far-right speaking event cancelled again, but ‘Phil Goff is a prick’ event to go ahead at council venuesThe long-planned Phil Goff is a Gigantic Prick Festival is set to go ahead at multiple council-owned venues tonight [...] |
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 Opinion: Will Steven Adams at least play table tennis for New Zealand?If Steven Adams has any decency left - and you'd have to say, it looks like he doesn't - then he'll at least consider playing table tennis for New Zealand. Or something [...] |
As Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern returns to work this week, there are growing questions over what her having a baby was even for in the first place. Six weeks on since the much-hyped birth of Ardern’s child, it appears to have done absolutely nothing for itself, the country, or the […]
In two weeks time, primary school aged children across the country will be left to fend entirely for themselves, after New Zealand’s parenting union announced retaliatory measures against the planned primary school teachers’ strike. On August 15th, primary school teachers will go on strike for a full day, a move […]
New Zealand Police say they now expect to have their latest revenue-raising measure in place by Christmas this year, providing a much-needed funding boost to the force. From December 15th, Kiwis will have the option of buying speeding ticket vouchers for friends or family, which can be used to pay […]
Acting Prime Minister Winston Peters fired the entirety of Jacinda Ardern’s Cabinet shortly after taking the reins on Thursday morning, but this wasn’t reported until now as every political journalist in the country was eating snacks in the Auckland Hospital cafeteria. It has taken a total of four days for […]
An historic day, said the media. A happy day, said Acting Prime Minister Winston Peters. Fine day across the South, said Metservice. Though Peters later clarified he wasn’t talking about the baby, these are the sentiments that are ringing around the country this evening as New Zealand celebrates the separation […]
Several hundred journalists are in Auckland Hospital today following a major incident in the city. The journalists were admitted to the hospital early this morning, wearing tags and barcodes to identify them, as staff were overwhelmed by their arrival. It as yet unclear what has happened, but one nurse spoken […]