All the news that's fit on a page 
Hundreds of journalists rushed to hospital following major incidentSeveral hundred journalists are in Auckland City Hospital today following a major incident in the city. The journalists were admitted to the hospital early this morning, wearing tags and barcodes to identify them, as staff were overwhelmed by their arrival [...] |
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 David Seymour asks why the government needs to provide holidays when you can already buy them onlineACT Party leader and star of recent Three mockumentary series Dancing with [...] |
Three days have passed since Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern was due to give birth to the greatest baby known to have ever been born in these parts, and as the hours drag on with no news, fears are beginning to emerge that it may never be born. Medical experts contacted […]
Sort-of-but-not-technically-husband to the Prime Minister Clarke Gayford has confirmed that he and Jacinda Ardern have received a “lovely” gift to the tune of some 600 live bees from the town of New Plymouth. The bees were sent to the Prime Minister as a gift for the arrival of her baby, […]
Pregnant Auckland women due to give birth this weekend are excited at the possibility that their baby may be accidentally switched with the Prime Minister’s in a routine hospital mix-up. The birth of Jacinda Ardern and Clarke Gayford’s first known child has raised an exciting opportunity for couples who conceived […]
Beloved New Zealand soap opera and renowned hospital show, Shortland Street, will commemorate the birth of Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern’s baby with a special, feature-length episode in which the eponymous hospital has to scramble to deliver the Prime Minister’s baby during a total blackout. According to TVNZ, on Monday night, […]
Hi. I’m David. Hello. You might know me by now, I’m on the TV occasionally, I pour my own beer in public, and I wear shirts that are handed to me. All good then. Well you must be wondering, what do I stand for? Anyway, I have some thoughts about […]
In his first budget as Finance Minister, Grant Robertson announced today that the Labour Government will be passing a projected increase in cost of health services onto broadcaster and former cricketer Mark Richardson, citing a lack of willingness to take “a cut in our revenue.” Starting next financial year, Richardson […]