Gareth Morgan promises a TOP coalition would raise Jacinda Ardern’s kids for her

In a bold campaign move this evening, Gareth Morgan has offered a helping hand to Jacinda Ardern, saying he’ll settle the question of her having children while Prime Minister once and for all [...]

Introducing The Civilian's Election Special

We should note that we made all of this in advance and at this point we simply don’t have the time or money to remove Andrew Little from any of our graphics, so we’re just going to go ahead and run with it [...]

Other News

The moon – also known as the big cheese – is like a second Earth but with nothing on it.

How is Labour going to get this Andrew Little advertisement off the surface of the moon in time for election day?

Jacinda Ardern’s rise to the Labour leadership yesterday was widely perceived as necessary within the party, but changing leaders less than two months out from an election can come with it some unusual consequences and major headaches. Not least of all: what Labour is going to do about the enormous […]

Children were left in tears and parents baffled as nobody from Emirates Team New Zealand played Santa in the victory parade.

Peter Burling ruined parade by refusing to dress as Santa, say parents

Yesterday’s America’s Cup parade in Auckland is drawing intense scrutiny today, as parents who attended say it was “completely ruined” by Helmsman Peter Burling’s refusal to dress as Santa Claus. “Disgraceful, really,” said Dylan Greysome, who weathered the wind and rain to bring his children to the parade. “Honestly put […]

"It's a useless cup and I wanted to get rid of the bloody thing" – something something

Spithill reveals Cup is useless; was just trying to get rid of it the whole time

Oracle Team USA skipper Jimmy Spithill has blamed his team’s America’s Cup loss on not wanting to win. “It’s a useless cup and I wanted to get rid of the bloody thing,” he told media today, breaking his silence for the first time since the initial post-match press conference. “The […]

Peter Burling says that setting this up was a “very delicate process” that required making sure to lose just one race before getting to six points.

Team New Zealand perfectly poised to lose 7-6

After two consecutive wins against Team Oracle in Bermuda, Emirates Team New Zealand have set themselves up perfectly to lose the competition 7-6. The New Zealanders pushed themselves out to a 6-1 lead this morning, maintaining the position they’ve held for the last four years; one win from victory. Helmsman […]

Opinion: I would never listen to any of my employees

Opinion: I would never listen to any of my employees

By my count, it’s been four days since the Prime Minister and his smarmy little yuppie were exposed for what they are: liars, crooks, filthy, cronyistic, career-politician peddlers of self-interested rubbish. One of them is gone and the other remains, and I ask, why? The answer is obvious, but probably […]

Barclay says hearing himself “say things” was the “final straw.”

Todd Barclay made decision to resign after listening to himself on dictaphone

Embattled National MP Todd Barclay resigned yesterday over allegations that he had maliciously recorded one of his staffers, Glenys Dickson. The scandal also landed the Prime Minister, Bill English, in hot water, over conflicting statements he gave about his recollection of the incident, and his failure to do anything about […]