Government conspired to give Dotcom permanent residency in hopes there would be massive party

Evidence is beginning to mount that suggests the New Zealand Government may have deliberately conspired to grant permanent residency to German multimillionaire Kim Dotcom [...]

Robin Thicke constructs monument to estranged wife using unsold 'Paula' albums

Canadian singer-songwriter Robin Thicke has made what he calls the best of a bad situation, by using the millions of unsold copies of the album he wrote to his ex-wife [...]

Other News

Passengers aboard a flight from Guangzhou to Auckland on Monday remain upset today that their pilots did not fly them through unsafe conditions to their inevitable death.

Passengers upset at delays due to fog; just wanted to hurry up and die

Passengers on board a flight from Guangzhou to Auckland on Monday are directing anger at China Southern Airlines, saying that a diversion and subsequent five-hour wait on the tarmac in Christchurch due to fog was unacceptable, and didn’t understand why the company would not just get the plane in the […]

Apple’s iPhone 6 promises to be invulnerable to stabbing, but will it stand up to a blow-torch or an industrial grinder?

Stab-proof iPhone glass can still be beaten in with blunt end

Critics reviewing early alpha versions of the much-anticipated iPhone 6 have been disappointed to discover that the phone’s glass – which had been touted by Apple as “stab-proof” – is still able to be beaten in and smashed with the blunt end of the knife over a period of half […]

Men in yellow shirts were left devastated by the physical position of the ball, while men in red and black shirts appeared moderately enthused.

Tragedy as ball enters white thing seven times

The nation of Brazil is in mourning this evening after a round ball entered a white thing as many as seven times in the space of ninety minutes. Brazilians, who had gathered in a large elliptical structure to scream, were horrified as they watched the small, black-and-white round object enter […]

Education spokesperson Chris Hipkins says that no children will be harmed by fire as a result of smaller classrooms, and that they are more likely to die of smoke inhalation.

Labour to reduce classroom sizes to a maximum of 15 square metres

Struggling to find political traction just two months out from the election, the Labour Party has this morning announced a bold new policy that it says will reform the education system, by limiting class sizes to a maximum of 15 square metres. Labour leader David Cunliffe, who laid out the […]

Trees have fallen over in Auckland today in a unique event that some are describing as a once-in-a-month event.

Media sure is pleased they took lots of stock images of trees from the last storm

Both print and television news media are feeling greatly relieved today in spite of a severe weather event that would usually create unpalatable amounts of work. A violent storm that tore through Auckland last night and brought winds of up to 160km in some areas threatened to inundate journalists with […]

Lou Vincent said he broke down in tears when he thought about the fact he may have given children the impression that cricket was “interesting” or “three dimensional.”

Nation forgives Lou Vincent for making cricket interesting

Following a heart-wrenching monologue on TV3’s 3rd Degree, in which he admitted to his history of cheating through match-fixing, the nation’s media has seen fit to extend a rare hand of forgiveness to former Black Cap Lou Vincent, who they believe is “genuinely remorseful” for making New Zealand’s second-most popular […]