Kōrero pono 
A bold public relations move by the Government to encourage parents to vaccinate their children has gone horribly wrong. Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern appeared on tonight’s episode of Three’s The Project, where the plan was for her to personally vaccinate her widely beloved fisherman-come-partner Clarke Gayford. Public relations consultants in […]
In a bizarre move apparently outside their mandate, the Tax Working Group tasked with recommending important tax reforms has recommended 2015 movie The Big Short. “VERY INTERESTING” read the final report. “FUNNY BUT REAL DEEP AND EDUCATIONAL. REALLY TEACHES YOU ABOUT BAD MONEY PEOPLE.” “It’s very interesting,” said Michael Cullen, […]
One Auckland mother is reportedly furious and distraught after finding her finances several million dollars short due to purchases in the video game Fortnite by one of her ministers. The minister, 55-year-old Phil, has reportedly racked up untold numbers of cosmetic purchases on the mother’s account without her knowledge, and […]
Beloved New Zealand soap opera and renowned hospital show, Shortland Street, will commemorate the birth of Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern’s baby with a special, feature-length episode in which the eponymous hospital has to scramble to deliver the Prime Minister’s baby during a total blackout. According to TVNZ, on Monday night, […]
Sky’s new starter package has disappointed some new subscribers, who have described the service as “just a cable in a box.” In an attempt to attract new customers, and slow the steady decline of its subscription base, New Zealand’s national satellite TV provider has offered a much cheaper entry package […]
Jeremy Wells, co-host of Seven Sharp and Hauraki’s 3 hour morning sex advice segment, is finding it increasingly hard to sleep, as the ghost of Mike Hosking continually reappears in his bathroom. Friends of Wells say he has yet to determine whether the apparition lives in the bathroom itself, or […]