Health & Wellbeing

Doctors say if the baby hasn't arrived at the end of the week, it probably won't.

As nation waits for baby, medical experts say it might just stay in there forever

Three days have passed since Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern was due to give birth to the greatest baby known to have ever been born in these parts, and as the hours drag on with no news, fears are beginning to emerge that it may never be born. Medical experts contacted […]

Pregnant women all around Auckland are crossing their fingers and hoping to experience the great miracle of medical malpractice

Pregnant Auckland women hopeful their babies will be accidentally switched with the Prime Minister’s

Pregnant Auckland women due to give birth this weekend are excited at the possibility that their baby may be accidentally switched with the Prime Minister’s in a routine hospital mix-up. The birth of Jacinda Ardern and Clarke Gayford’s first known child has raised an exciting opportunity for couples who conceived […]

PICTURED: Lots of bananas

Five things you didn’t know about bananas because they aren’t true

The internet sure is a wonderful place. There’s so much to know! We’ve come a long way from the days where a teenager’s greatest learning experience on a computer was typing “vagina” into Encarta. Nowadays, when you type a naughty word into your search bar, the results are much better. […]

Last year, the average New Zealander began preloading for New Year’s Even in mid July.

Wellington man wonders whether he might as well just start preloading for New Year’s right now

Given the current state of his personal and financial affairs, and the growing certainty that nothing of note will happen between now and 2018, one Wellington man is beginning to wonder whether Saint Patrick’s Day is the perfect opportunity to just start preloading for New Year’s Eve right now. “It […]

An ancient Aztec health shop owner dispenses patented health foods to his well-nourished customers.

All natural: how the ancient Aztecs drank chia seed smoothies from their local wankshop

At this time of year, many of us are feeling the need to improve our diet following a long summer of binge drinking, overeating, drinking again in the morning to avoid a hangover, and waking up shitfaced in the middle of the road next to a dead animal of a […]

Thousands of South Island customers were left without power today, allowing them to rediscover the joys of sitting silently just praying it would all be over soon.

Power outage allows man to rediscover joy of walking around in circles aimlessly

A South Island-wide power outage today turned out to be a blessing in disguise for one Christchurch man who says it allowed him to find the time to rediscover his love of walking around aimlessly with no idea what to do with himself. Christopher Leon, 32, said he was left […]