National

An ambitious plan to fly to Los Angeles petered out into a brief sight-seeing trip and a desire to return home and get some sleep before work tomorrow.

Flight to Los Angeles turned back after passengers decide they don’t want to go anymore

Air New Zealand has confirmed a flight to Los Angeles last night was turned back about a quarter of the way into its journey, due to a general consensus that passengers didn’t want to go anymore. It was initially assumed that flight NZ2 had returned due to an engineering issue, […]

Here's another novelty chocolate to shove in your gob, New Zealand

Cadbury rumoured to be releasing the Pineapple Trump

Cadbury could be seeking to make itself great again with a rumoured new release: Pineapple Trumps, a spin on its classic chocolate-encased pineapple treat and do-it-yourself tooth remover. The global confectionery manufacturer and bumbling “before” character in an infomercial, had its brand new creation leaked this afternoon after a hastily-photoshopped […]

Don Brash is staging a glamping protest at Ihumātao

Ihumātao escalates as Don Brash occupies portion of land set to be returned to iwi

The already tense situation at Ihumātao has escalated this afternoon after the dispute saw a third party enter the fray, in the form of former National Party leader and Hobson’s Pledge founder Don Brash. Mana whenua and a growing number of protestors have been occupying land on and around the […]

Water Whirler doubles in value after beaning titanic douchemonger

Water Whirler doubles in value after beaning titanic douchemonger

The Wellington man who broke the Len Lye Water Whirler sculpture may be relieved today after a report revealed that his antics on the waterfront art piece have actually doubled its value, an increase largely attributed to the whirler’s violent crowning of its assailant. A panel of experts assessed the […]

Despite his name and appearance, Dave Scott insists he is just "a human" and not "some kind of proctorbot."

Proctor struggles to explain why he also took two cans of beans, a beer, 60 dollars, and a bath

Otago University proctor Dave Scott has landed himself in hot water this week after entering a student flat without permission and stealing three bongs. Scott, who has publicly apologised today and acknowledged he made a mistake, says he was just trying to protect the students from possible police action, and […]

One country's humanitarian tragedy is another country's happy miracle,

New Zealand celebrates separation of child from mother

An historic day, said the media. A happy day, said Acting Prime Minister Winston Peters. Fine day across the South, said Metservice. Though Peters later clarified he wasn’t talking about the baby, these are the sentiments that are ringing around the country this evening as New Zealand celebrates the separation […]