Opinion

Opinion: All of this is why I chose not to have any other MPs

Opinion: All of this is why I chose not to have any other MPs

Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. I say “hi” four times so each of you get your own greeting. Everyone deserves their own “hi.” That’s why in an ACT government, we’ll be promoting our Legal Hi Bill. Everyone deserves a legal hi. Over the past four years, many New Zealanders have asked […]

Opinion: Honestly, I am fucking useless

Opinion: Honestly, I am fucking useless

Simon was right. I am fucking useless. I’m not ashamed of it. I never have been. In fact, that’s why I became an MP. I became an MP because I wanted to represent you, the people of West Coast-Tasman, and if there’s one thing I know, it’s that you’re useless. […]

By sports columnist Jock Harrison.

Opinion: Will Steven Adams at least play table tennis for New Zealand?

If Steven Adams has any decency left – and you’d have to say, it looks like he doesn’t – then he’ll at least consider playing table tennis for New Zealand. Or something relatively easy, like lawn balls, for goodness sake. How hard can it be? Front up mate. Do the […]

Opinion: Recent experiences have led me to believe that text voting would be a wonderful thing for our democracy

Opinion: Recent experiences have led me to believe that text voting would be a wonderful thing for our democracy

Hi. I’m David. Hello. You might know me by now, I’m on the TV occasionally, I pour my own beer in public, and I wear shirts that are handed to me. All good then. Well you must be wondering, what do I stand for? Anyway, I have some thoughts about […]

Opinion: I would never listen to any of my employees

Opinion: I would never listen to any of my employees

By my count, it’s been four days since the Prime Minister and his smarmy little yuppie were exposed for what they are: liars, crooks, filthy, cronyistic, career-politician peddlers of self-interested rubbish. One of them is gone and the other remains, and I ask, why? The answer is obvious, but probably […]

Opinion: Well, I like planes

Opinion: Well, I like planes

Hi. I’m John Key, Prime Minister of New Zealand. One of them, anyway. If anyone knows who the current one is, that would be good. I need to send them a letter. Well, I like planes. I think most New Zealanders would agree there’s nothing like that cool New Zealand […]