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I have a perfect breakfast show. Am I right or am I right? No, I’m right – perfect breakfast show. Competing with a man with an entirely adequate breakfast show and he’s decided to compete with someone with a perfect breakfast show. That’s perception, you might say. Well, it’s my […]
I have a perfect breakfast show. Am I right or am I right? No, I’m right – perfect breakfast show. Competing with a man with an entirely adequate breakfast show and he’s decided to compete with someone with a perfect breakfast show. That’s perception, you might say. Well, it’s my […]
My golly, it’s been a strange couple of weeks, hasn’t it? Firstly, my wife asked me to make dinner. That was surprising, and not really how things are supposed to work. “You’re unemployed, Colin,” she says. That’s funny. I’m not unemployed. I’m the leader of the Conservative Party. “You’re not […]
Have you ever been in a plane crash? No. You haven’t. If you had, you’d be dead, and no one would ask you such a thing, because no one would care what you thought. Much as they didn’t when you were alive. Plane crashes are not minor sorts of affairs. […]
It all started four years ago, on March 11th, 2011. It was only shortly after the most devastating of the Christchurch earthquakes, and myself and my family were just beginning to pick up the pieces. It was about then that I had just started to sleep peacefully again, but I […]
It all started with the gays. I tried to warn New Zealand about the gays, but they didn’t listen. I first got wind of it back in 1978, when me and my mate Gerald won a game of touch ruggers against the boys from out of town. It was a […]