By a hedgehog

Opinion: Can’t a hedgehog just get his head stuck in a cup without being humiliated on national news?

No? Okay, look, we need to have a talk. I don’t usually make it my business to speak out on these issues, in part because I don’t have a voice box, and in part because I’m too busy making that rustling noise that’s keeping you awake at 3am. And I’m […]

Holy shit, please don’t punch us.

Why Maria Regina Sivori is our Mother of the Year and we don’t want to be punched by the Pope

When a young Pope Francis told his mother that he was studying theology and entering the church, she was shocked, as he had told her that he wanted to study medicine. Maria Regina Sivori, mother of five, worked long and often dangerous hours in Argentina’s deepest mines to provide for […]

Holy fuck, please don’t kill us.

Editorial: Why ISIL is great and we don’t want to die

Ladies and gentlemen, loyal readers, confused Americans who accidentally found this in a Google search: as you will know, today we relaunched the Civilian with an eye towards the New Year and beyond. But we did not do so under the most ideal of circumstances. For it was only two […]

The Civilian 2.0

The Civilian 2.0

What is the news? The news is a complicated series of interlocking gears, gyrating around a glowing ball of knowledge in the heart of our nation’s capital; Auckland. The news is a rhombus, a sort of black stew with carrot and a hint of vinegar. The news is a window […]

David Cunliffe is the Best, an authorised biography by Chris Hipkins and Clayton Cosgrove.

Editorial: Hope and Heartbreak at Cunliffe’s Conference

When Labour leader David Cunliffe said that we could attend his party’s 2013 conference, we were a little surprised, not least of all because we believed these sorts of events were purely restricted to joke media, such as The Standard and 3 News. We didn’t really believe that a Labour […]

By David Cunliffe

Opinion: I am deeply concerned about me

Friends, colleagues, and fellow New Zealanders; I am concerned. When my former leader, David Shearer, announced last week that he would be resigning from his position as the chief representative of our party, I knew that I had a decision to make. The media was asking me what my intentions […]