By a snapper.

Opinion: I’m rather more concerned about spying, actually

Look, I understand where the Prime Minister’s coming from on this one. This quota thing? Quite a big deal when you think about it, really. Has your eye ever been caught by a delicious treat? Something you really love, like a dark chocolate Tim Tam? And have you ever gone […]

By Beyoncé Knowles

Opinion: I can’t fathom why you’d want to go to my concert

Hi New Zealand. I’m excited and flattered by the response I’ve received for my Auckland concerts. It’s been so huge I’ve had to add a fourth. I’m looking forward to coming and sharing a great show with you. But you don’t need to come. The fourth show is going to […]

By David Shearer

Opinion: I feel like I should write this while I’m still a public figure

Hello. Hi. My name is David Shearer. You might’ve heard of me, somewhere. I’m the other one to John Key, so if you don’t like John Key, yeah, I’m the other one. Those are your options. I’m a guy. I’m friendly enough. I worked in Afghanistan for a while. There […]

Here you will find important information on how to become a member of The Civilian Party.

Editorial: Why we’re registering a political party

To help us reach our goal of 500 members so that we can become officially registered as a political party, click here. Tena koutou, tena koutou, tena koutou katoa. My name is Ben Uffindell, and for those of you who read the Marlborough Express, the above paragraph means “hello” in […]

By Sam Neill

Opinion: I’m not a scientist, but allow me to say a few things about science

As with most people, I didn’t really hear about science for the first few decades of my life. Oh, every now and then you’d see it mentioned in the newspaper, or perhaps in a book somewhere; “science” had solved some great conundrum, such as how to make butter spreadable. But […]

By Batman.

Opinion: I’m not a fucktard. I’m Batman

I’ve been silent too long. But that’s who I am. A silent protector. A watchful guardian. A circumspect observer. An alert custodian. A vigilant sentry. A wary chaperone. A cautious shepherd. A politic bystander. A dark knight. I’m sorry. Sometimes I get lost in my own publicity. I was willing […]