Even the private telepathic communications of National's leader are now being leaked to the press.

Collins ‘popped in’ to Anglican church to briefly threaten God before voting

The leaks keep coming from within the National Party tonight, with several insiders sharing candid details about Judith Collins’ very public prayers over the weekend. When pictures emerged of Collins inside Auckland’s St. Thomas Tāmaki church on Sunday, it was widely believed the opposition leader had tripped and fallen, and […]

Police say the two victims were found lodged “firmly underneath” the bus.

Two people in serious condition after incident involving NZ First bus

Two people are in a serious condition this evening after an incident apparently involving the New Zealand First campaign bus. They are presently unable to be identified. Authorities say two people were found underneath the bus shortly after 5pm this evening. It is unclear at this stage exactly how they […]

LIVE: Jacinda Ardern vs. Judith Collins, First Debate

LIVE: Jacinda Ardern vs. Judith Collins, First Debate

Tonight, The Civilian will be live-blogging the first of too many debates between Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern and National Party leader Judith Collins, and also the last fifteen minutes of the news. Be sure to tune in from 6:45pm for regular updates, which can be accessed by refreshing this page […]

The effects dark magic cast on Collins' MPs has gotten so out of control that she's beginning to fear it's the work of someone else.

Entire caucus continues to follow Judith Collins everywhere as she struggles to undo mind control spell

When Judith Collins was finally elected leader of the New Zealand National Party last night, it was accompanied by a moving show of unity, as every single MP from her caucus marched in lockstep and stood at her side as she delivered her first address as Leader of the Opposition. […]

The Civilian takes a look at the new leader of the National Party, Todd Muller

An Introduction to Todd Muller

This article was written over the past weekend as part of The Civilian’s series of “Meet the Leaders” profiles. Some will claim that this makes the article outdated, because Muller is no longer leader. But The Civilian disagrees. We firmly believe that Todd Muller exists outside the usual paradigm of […]

What’s in the Coronavirus Package?

What’s in the Coronavirus Package?

With the economy already reeling from a crisis that’s barely begun, the Government today sought to provide reassurance to workers and businesses in the form of a massive phallic pun to insert much-needed cash into the private sector and help fight the looming pandemic. Here are the key components: $5.1 […]