All the news that's fit on a page 
Acting Prime Minister Winston Peters fired the entirety of Jacinda Ardern’s Cabinet shortly after taking the reins on Thursday morning, but this wasn’t reported until now as every political journalist in the country was eating snacks in the Auckland Hospital cafeteria. It has taken a total of four days for […]
ACT Party leader and star of recent Three mockumentary series Dancing with the Stars has questioned the need for government mandated public holidays, saying that in the modern world, holidays are already widely available on the internet. “There was a time when a holiday wasn’t that easy to come by, […]
In his first budget as Finance Minister, Grant Robertson announced today that the Labour Government will be passing a projected increase in cost of health services onto broadcaster and former cricketer Mark Richardson, citing a lack of willingness to take “a cut in our revenue.” Starting next financial year, Richardson […]
Regional Development Minister and leading suspect in the disappearance of the Glenfield Peaches & Cream DVD section Shane Jones, announced today that as part of a previously confidential clause in the Labour-New Zealand First coalition agreement, Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern’s newly born baby will be shipped to the regions, just […]
Foreign Minister Winston Peters has held a press conference on very short notice this afternoon, to announce that the government will be seeking a blanket ban on vodka and related products. The move is a transparent attempt to make the government look like it’s doing something about Russia, in the […]
Some vindication for the Prime Minister and her foreign minister today, as leaked census data shows that the number of Russian spies in New Zealand is relatively small, as compared to the general population. Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern, along with Foreign Minister Winston Peters, have been under fire this week […]