Politics

Remembering John Key – A Civilian special feature

Remembering John Key – A Civilian special feature

Yesterday afternoon, at roughly 2:50pm, John Key ceased to be Prime Minister of New Zealand. Before he left Wellington for the last time, he packed up his Beehive office, and ceremonially pranked Bill English by leaving framed pictures of women’s ankles that he knew would rattle him. He then made […]

PICTURED: Bill English regales media with tales of a “pretty crazy” night in.

Bill English celebrated last night by using twice the amount of Listerine he usually does

Incoming Prime Minister Bill English celebrated his ascension to the highest office in the land last night by cheekily knocking back twice the amount of Listerine he usually uses before his 10pm bedtime. English acknowledged that he may have gone a “bit wild” during celebrations last night, but said that […]

Incoming Prime Minister Bill English is feeling little pressure about the upcoming election, knowing that he can’t possibly do worse than last time.

20.9% of country thrilled

The 20.9% of New Zealanders that voted for Bill English to be Prime Minister in 2002 are finally set to see their dreams become a reality, as he accidentally stumbles his way into office on Monday. The other two leadership contenders, Jonathan Coleman and the voice of darkness that haunts […]

Uh oh! Has John Key given nearly enough thought to hiding his browsing habits from his successors?

Careless? John Key left himself just one week to clear the browser history from all his Beehive computers

Whoops! John Key might be regretting this one. If his resignation as leader of New Zealand seemed to be going too smoothly, something’s cropped up to put a real spanner in the works now. Sources close to the Prime Minister think he’s failed to account for how long it might […]

Journalists suspect Jonathan Coleman has been hanging around at the opposite end of the hallway just to waste their time.

New Zealanders revelling in exciting week of live stream shots of hallways

New Zealanders around the country are savouring the chance this week to partake in one of the great joys of the Westminster political system; leadership bouts that consist of staring down hallways for hours on end waiting for someone to come down them and say something disappointing. As Bill English, […]

English and Coleman’s inspiring stories: how they came from money and stayed there

English and Coleman’s inspiring stories: how they came from money and stayed there

John Key doesn’t just leave behind the legacy of New Zealand’s most popular Prime Minister; he also leaves the legacy of a boy who grew up in a state house, with relatively little, and climbed all the way to the top. It’s an inspiring story, and a hard act to […]