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Look what you’ve done. Look at it. Don’t pretend you don’t know what that is. You know exactly what it is. That is exactly what it looks like, and you knew exactly what you were doing. Don’t laugh. It’s not funny. How many times? How many times have you been […]
The Electoral Commission says it’s investigating complaints that Labour leader Jacinda Ardern spent most of election day walking around malls, meeting supporters and shaking hands. Her activity – which strongly resembles campaigning – would be illegal under electoral law, but it is understood Ms. Ardern took the significant precaution of […]
Prime Minister Bill English held a press conference at 1pm this afternoon to tell all New Zealanders that he hates them, and that he can’t stand their “stupid fucking faces.” But due to electoral law – which doesn’t permit the publishing of any politically influential content between midnight and 7pm […]
Political parties are leaving no stone unturned tonight as they aggressively campaign for every last vote. Campaigning and other indications of political support will become illegal at midnight, until polls close tomorrow at 7pm. But given the hotly contested nature of this particular election, politicians are using every last minute. […]
ACT Party leader David Seymour spent his final day of the campaign standing in a local Whitcoulls, next to a stack of his own new book, Own Your Future. Seymour, who is not allowed to say the words “ACT Party” in his electorate of Epsom, or to his family, awkwardly […]
Dairy farmers have spent the better part of today blaming Prime Minister Bill English for their failure to summon the Cow God beneath the Morrinsville Mega Cow at a protest yesterday. Farmers assembled beneath the cow and chanted “Delivering for New Zealanders” in hopes of summoning the God of all […]