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In developing news late this evening, Treasury Secretary Gabriel Makhlouf has confirmed to media that another security breach has occurred in his department, after his emails seemed to completely disappear from his outbox. Makhlouf is not sure where exactly his emails have gone or who has stolen them, but the […]
A parliamentary sign language interpreter has been criticised for going on a bizarre, profane rant against several National Party MPs during Deputy Prime Minister Winston Peters’ post-budget address. Deaf New Zealanders watching the speech were horrified as the interpreter apparently went way off script, forgoing addressing the budget in favour […]
After a world-first role reversal in which the Government’s website crashed its budget, Finance Minister Grant Robertson has bitterly refused to publicly release the document today, saying that if people want it, they’ll “just have to go find it.” “Seeing as you’re so fucking good at it,” he added. Robertson […]
Prime Minister John Key had just spent the last two hours making phone calls and preparing the final touches to his capital gains announcement. The clock had just passed 2pm, and he was slightly late. Nothing to be worried about, though. Being late to a media engagement just gives them […]
Businesses across New Zealand are welcoming the recommendations of the Government’s Tax Working Group this evening, saying they’re pleased that initial indications seem to be that they won’t have to pay capital gains on any of their 40-storey, 120-bedroom, sometimes floating family homes. From Fonterra to 2degrees to Foodstuffs, CEOs […]
National MP Judith Collins is said to be panicking after her mind lost all control of one of its host bodies in the late hours of this morning. The body, apparently accelerating its programming by several years, went on a 50-minute press conference rampage, accusing leader Simon Bridges of everything […]