fbpx

Politics

Peter Dunne, Winston Peters convene secret meeting to confirm that plan is working

Peter Dunne, Winston Peters convene secret meeting to confirm that plan is working

New Zealand first leader Winston Peters and Revenue Minister Peter Dunne convened a secret meeting in a poorly-lit garage shortly before dawn this morning, just to confirm that the plan is still working and that “nobody suspects anything.” When Peters entered the garage at approximately 5:07am to find Dunne seated […]

Green Party celebrates 60th anniversary of Hillary’s ascent by ‘getting really high’

Green Party celebrates 60th anniversary of Hillary’s ascent by ‘getting really high’

The Green Party caucus has failed to turn up to Parliament today after they decided to celebrate the 60th anniversary of Sir Edmund Hillary’s conquest of Everest by “getting really high, just like he did.” A red-eyed Russel Norman explained the decision to media at an accidental press conference held […]

Labour believes New Zealand’s tallest mountain could stand to be a whole lot taller.

Labour floats plan to make Mount Cook ‘taller than Everest’

To coincide with the 60th anniversary of Sir Edmund Hillary’s conquest of Mount Everest, Labour has announced that if elected into power at the next general election, it will initiate a radical plan to make New Zealand’s tallest peak the world’s tallest. Labour’s tourism spokesman Andrew Little revealed the plan […]

Patrick Gower is angry, and wants to know when someone will get sacked.

Poll shows public holds balance of power at 2014 election

A public opinion poll conducted by 3 News and Reid Research has shown that the voting public may play a crucial role in the outcome of next year’s general election. The poll, which showed virtually no change from its predecessor, cast a dramatic new light on the upcoming election, said […]

Thousands of boxes of Le Snak will be delivered to the nation’s poorest schools starting later this year.

Government partners with Uncle Tobys to provide hungry children with Le Snak

In response to a member’s bill – authored by Mana Party leader Hone Harawira – that would seek to provide state-funded breakfasts to hungry children in low-decile schools, the Government is proposing its own version of the legislation, which would instead develop a partnership with popular food brand Uncle Tobys […]

Winston Peters learns to cook Chinese food, insists no more need for immigrants

Winston Peters learns to cook Chinese food, insists no more need for immigrants

New Zealand First leader Winston Peters has told a North Shore Grey Power meeting this afternoon that he has learned how to cook “that Chinese rubbish, or whatever it is these kids like to eat,” thus removing any possible need for Chinese immigrants to enter the New Zealand economy. He […]