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Science & Technology

Physicists at Auckland University want to understand why our nation’s shitholes are so hard to buy, and when it might finally end.

Scientists begin search for elusive ‘capital gain particle’ to explain runaway housing market

A team of physicists from Auckland’s The University of Auckland are preparing a series of experiments to uncover a mysterious elementary particle that may be responsible for New Zealand’s runaway housing market. The announcement comes as price increases around the country continue to defy expectations, economics, and even the physical […]

Six weird animals that have nothing to do with the election

Six weird animals that have nothing to do with the election

Get a load of these things! Some of these animals are just crazy. You wouldn’t want a single one of these animals anywhere near your kids. It could ruin them for life. Last thing you’d want is your kid growing up around any of these, and thinking that’s what animals […]

Dum-de-doo.

Experts warn Harold the Giraffe “well past” typical giraffe life expectancy, may not have long

Children across New Zealand have known him for generations as the lovable giraffe who tells them to exercise, hydrate and not to shove lit cigarettes up their nostrils. But a world renowned giraffe expert says we shouldn’t be getting attached to Life Education’s Harold the Giraffe, as he is unlikely […]

By Sam Neill

Opinion: Baldwin Street is steeper because we’re on the bottom of the globe and it’s harder not to fall off

I was recently speaking with my pet pig, Angelica, about the wonders of science, and all the marvellous things it allows us to do with its zip-zappys and wing-wangeries. “Angelica, dear,” I said in my rich pleather tones, honed from many years toiling in the theatre of the movies. “Angelica, […]

Scientists are concerned whale civilizations will never advance if we stop sending them plastic bags.

Recent whale sightings in Wellington may just be whales trying to stockpile plastic bags

Department of Conservation experts believe that recent sightings of Southern right whales in Wellington Harbour may be related to the upcoming plastic bag ban that will be implemented by the government. Southern right whales have been spotted in the harbour twice this year in a relatively short space of time, […]

Infected users are beginning to panic this evening as English appears unwilling to disclose exactly what is in the pizza, or where the uphill bits are.

Ransomware virus will only unlock users’ computers if Bill English hands over secret family pizza recipe

Many of the nation’s businesses are at a standstill this evening as a ransomware virus that locks users out of their computers rapidly spreads across the country. The virus, named WannaPiece, encrypts users’ files so they can’t be accessed, and threatens not to decrypt them unless Prime Minister Bill English […]