All the news that's fit on a page 
Prime Minister Bill English is making a sincere appeal to all New Zealanders this week, ahead of a visit from US Secretary of State Rex Tillerson. Tillerson will arrive in Wellington on Tuesday, and English says he wants all New Zealanders to “tidy up” and “look busy.” “This is a […]
An announcement about President Donald Trump’s Middle East peace proposal has been indefinitely postponed after he discovered that Israel already has a wall. The proposal, which the President himself purportedly spent all of yesterday writing, was one page long, size 72 font, and read, in full: WALL. According to aides […]
Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh, husband of the Queen, and member of the House of Schleswig-Holstein-Sonderburg-Glücksburg has passed away this morning at age 95. And if he hasn’t, that’ll be true soon enough anyway, so just bookmark this page and pull it back up when that happens. Philip reportedly suffered […]
In a dramatic twist in the Syrian conflict, U.S. President Donald Trump has ordered the firing of nearly 60 cans of Pepsi at a military installation just south of Homs. The move comes in response to a horrific chemical attack carried out on civilians by the regime of Bashar al-Assad, […]
The traditional wisdom – as held in academic circles – is that gender played a significant role in the outcome of the 2016 US Presidential election. The thinking goes that Donald Trump’s brash and obnoxious braggadocio was only tolerated because he was a man, and Hillary Clinton’s poise, experience and […]
An Auckland father has sent his son off to bed tonight by telling him a story of a mythical place called “the provinces,” where people support rugby teams other than The Blues and poors can in some cases afford houses. The man’s son was physically and emotionally rattled as his […]