World

Despite Donald Trump’s heroic efforts, analysts say there is still an outside chance he’ll win tomorrow.

On election eve, Trump team concedes he may still win despite ‘very best efforts’ to lose

On the eve of the United States Presidential Election, Donald Trump’s campaign team says the candidate is confident he’s done “everything he can” to lose tomorrow’s election, despite some polls suggesting he still has a shot to win. Trump has been on a marathon schedule in the closing days of […]

Several riders are dead and hundreds injured after a panicked crowd discovered horses had made their way into Melbourne’s annual booze party.

Melbourne Cup-goer makes incredible discovery of racing horses in middle of annual booze party

An attendee made an incredible discovery yesterday at Australia’s prestigious annual booze party, the Melbourne Cup, alerting other party-goers to the fact there were racing horses running around a large track in the centre of the event. “There’s fuckin’ horses over here, holy fuck!” yelled Damian Funnell, the ticket-holder responsible […]

Election advent calendar will reveal one new groping allegation against Donald Trump every day

Election advent calendar will reveal one new groping allegation against Donald Trump every day

A new election advent calendar is selling out across the United States today, as it provides children with an innovative and fun way to count down to the November 8th Presidential Election. In an attempt to educate children about the campaign, the advent calendar will reveal one new sexual assault […]

VP Debate: Mike Pence forced to watch live feed of Donald Trump and defend him in real time

VP Debate: Mike Pence forced to watch live feed of Donald Trump and defend him in real time

The Vice Presidential debate between Democrat Tim Kaine and Republican Mike Pence was substantially different from debates of years past, thanks to a technological innovation employed by the Commission on Presidential Debates. In lieu of questions, Pence was shown a live feed of his running mate Donald Trump holding a […]

Clark remains upbeat in hopes she’ll be the last candidate alive.

Helen Clark could still win Secretary General race if all other candidates die violently

Despite falling into eighth place in the latest straw poll, former Prime Minister Helen Clark may still be in with a chance to be the next United Nations Secretary General, say knowledgeable UN watchers, if she’s able to steady the ship and walk the narrow tight-rope of all the other […]

Asteroid that showed promising risk to all life will miss planet, NASA regretfully announces

Asteroid that showed promising risk to all life will miss planet, NASA regretfully announces

An asteroid that showed a potentially promising risk to all life on Earth will miss the planet later next week, says NASA, a disappointing and likely catastrophic turn of events that has many world leaders deeply concerned. “It certainly does raise questions about the future of the planet,” said NASA […]