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Election advent calendar will reveal one new groping allegation against Donald Trump every day

Election advent calendar will reveal one new groping allegation against Donald Trump every day

A new election advent calendar is selling out across the United States today, as it provides children with an innovative and fun way to count down to the November 8th Presidential Election. In an attempt to educate children about the campaign, the advent calendar will reveal one new sexual assault […]

VP Debate: Mike Pence forced to watch live feed of Donald Trump and defend him in real time

VP Debate: Mike Pence forced to watch live feed of Donald Trump and defend him in real time

The Vice Presidential debate between Democrat Tim Kaine and Republican Mike Pence was substantially different from debates of years past, thanks to a technological innovation employed by the Commission on Presidential Debates. In lieu of questions, Pence was shown a live feed of his running mate Donald Trump holding a […]

Clark remains upbeat in hopes she’ll be the last candidate alive.

Helen Clark could still win Secretary General race if all other candidates die violently

Despite falling into eighth place in the latest straw poll, former Prime Minister Helen Clark may still be in with a chance to be the next United Nations Secretary General, say knowledgeable UN watchers, if she’s able to steady the ship and walk the narrow tight-rope of all the other […]

Asteroid that showed promising risk to all life will miss planet, NASA regretfully announces

Asteroid that showed promising risk to all life will miss planet, NASA regretfully announces

An asteroid that showed a potentially promising risk to all life on Earth will miss the planet later next week, says NASA, a disappointing and likely catastrophic turn of events that has many world leaders deeply concerned. “It certainly does raise questions about the future of the planet,” said NASA […]

Michael Phelps discusses his retirement – and his decision to bring about the deaths of billions – with NBC’s Matt Lauer.

Michael Phelps announces he has collected enough gold medals to activate the doomsday device

Michael Phelps, competitive swimmer and the most decorated Olympian in history, has announced his retirement today after winning a record total of 23 gold medals, five of them at this year’s Olympic Games in Rio de Janeiro. Phelps announced his retirement in an interview with Matt Lauer on NBC’s Today […]

Trump announces Melania ‘will have to go back’ to Slovenia

Trump announces Melania ‘will have to go back’ to Slovenia

Following a series of reports suggesting that Donald Trump’s wife, Melania Trump, may have worked as an illegal immigrant in 1995, the Republican Presidential Candidate* has announced that “fair is fair” and she’ll have to go home to Slovenia. He delivered the news while speaking at a rally in Portland, […]