Christmas shoppers revisit annual moral crisis about whether Cadbury Favourites are still an acceptable gift

All signs point to no.

All signs point to no.

The nation’s Christmas shoppers are being forced to relive an all-too-painful moral crisis this holiday season, as they once again wrestle with the question of whether Cadbury Favourites are an acceptable thing to give someone for Christmas.

While most shoppers acknowledged the answer was probably no, they still felt there might be a small window of acceptability left, if only because they had to believe that to stay sane.

“If I can’t buy Cadbury Favourites for at least five people this year, I have no fucking idea what I’m going to do,” said Caroline Perkins, mother-of-mother-of-two. “So please, Jesus, let this be okay just one more time.”

Shoppers spoken to about the deep inner turmoil of whether or not to get Cadbury Favourites were split on whether receiving a box of Favourites was an acceptable price to pay in order to be able to give a box of Favourites.

“Fuck, I don’t know,” said Jos Fryer, who had been literally sweating over the decision. “I mean, God, I’d hate to get one, to be honest. I’ll open it, eat all the Picnics and the Flakes, and then hope some sick bastard wants the Turkish delights or the Cherry-Ripes, or the Dream Bars.”

Some late shoppers may have had their decision made for them, as supermarket chains across the country report that Cadbury Favourites are now entirely sold out.