Crate Day special: Liquor stores offering one free liver with every crate purchased

Crate Day is already more popular than many national holidays, including Easter and Labour Day.

Crate Day is already more popular than many national holidays, including Easter and Labour Day.

Christmas time sure does bring about some great deals for the consumer, and you need look no further than some of the incredible offers available from liquor stores this Crate Day.

Liquor King, Super Liquor, Bottle-O, Henry’s, Liquorland and Glengarry are all offering one free liver with every crate purchased; a handy addition that will make sure you can drink ‘till your heart’s content and your current liver’s certain destruction.

“It wasn’t exactly cheap for us to buy all these livers,” said Liquor King spokeswoman Jacinda Blue. “But we just wanted to make sure that people have a good time, and don’t have to worry, because they’ve always got a backup if something goes wrong.”

Blue said that for an extra ten dollars, Liquor King would install the new liver for you.

“Most of our customers have just opted to do it themselves,” she said.

That was true of Liquor King customer Lisa Long, who says she just taped her new liver to her face.

“That’s where most of my alcohol goes,” she said. “So, that’s where I put my liver.”

While Liquor King guaranteed all its livers were those of human beings, other liquor stores – including Australian-owned Bottle-O and Super Liquor – could not make the same commitment.

In a statement, Bottle-O said that, while it could not promise livers offered would be human livers, they would be “from some kind of animal.”

Thousands of New Zealanders are set to take part in Crate Day this Saturday, and the Government is facing intense pressure to make it a public holiday.

Prime Minister John Key said he would not be drinking a whole crate of alcohol on Saturday, but did say his son Max was “right into it.”

“Oh, look, I’m not sure if you’re allowed to pinch a beer from a crate or how that works,” he said, grinning. “But if I am, you know, I might have one or two.”

For those feeling even more adventurous about their Crate Day celebrations, Liquorland is offering special “crate roulette” crates, in which one bottle per crate contains deadly rat poison.

It is not anticipated that consumers will be able to tell which one.