David Shearer suddenly remembers affair

David Shearer says the two year long affair just slipped his mind

David Shearer says the two year long affair just slipped his mind

Labour Leader David Shearer has today revealed that, for a two year period between July 2009 and November 2011, he engaged in a romantic affair with a young office worker at his Mt. Albert electorate office in Auckland. Shearer claims that he “only just remembered” the affair and that up until now he had “completely forgotten it.”

The Leader of the Opposition told his wife and children of the affair last night, before calling a press conference outside his office this morning to explain it to the media.

“So I was sitting at home with Anuschka last night” said Shearer, referring to his wife of more than two decades. “We were watching old DVDs of Desperate Housewives, and there was some sort of dirty hanky panky going on between one of the wives and this younger man who wasn’t her husband. And I turned to Anuschka and I said ‘Oh yeah, I did that once.’”

“She was pretty upset” said Shearer. “But look, as I’ve told you, I’d completely forgotten. I meant to tell her earlier, but it must’ve just slipped my mind.”

The revelation is the latest in a string of surprising admissions from David Shearer that began yesterday after he was suddenly reminded of an overseas bank account he’d forgotten to disclose on the Parliamentary Register of Pecuniary Interests. Since then, Shearer has also remembered that he hasn’t paid taxes in four years, and last week burgled a small dairy in central Wellington.

When asked what he stole, Mr. Shearer replied “Snickers.”

A number of Labour MPs stood alongside their leader at today’s press conference to offer him their support. Not amongst them was backbench MP David Cunliffe, who had volunteered to phone constituents on Shearer’s behalf to let them know of the affair first-hand.

Shearer told reporters that, despite his failure to tell anyone sooner, he would seek to ensure that all his biographies were retroactively modified to include the affair. He rejected the notion that his leadership might be in jeopardy. “I am confident that I still have the full support of my caucus” he said this morning. “I just ask that you all bear with me over the next few weeks as we continue to remember a few things.”

Sources report that tomorrow David Shearer will have some new information on where he was on June 20, 1994.