Disappointment as meteor misses Sky Tower

Images that made it appear as though the Sky Tower may have been hit by last night’s meteor have been described as “cruel” for “getting peoples’ hopes up.”

Images that made it appear as though the Sky Tower may have been hit by last night’s meteor have been described as “cruel” for “getting peoples’ hopes up.”

New Zealanders, and Aucklanders in particular, awoke this morning to immense disappointment, as they learned that last night’s meteor shower across the North Island had not even impacted the iconic Sky Tower, let alone destroyed it.

While many were aware yesterday evening that the blue flash of light and subsequent sonic boom they witnessed had not completely shattered the Sky Tower, causing it to fall to earth on top of its proprietors like the stone bricks of justice it was destined to be, they had at least hoped it had taken “some kind of irreparable structural damage.”

“I was driving home last night, and I had pretty clear view of the Sky Tower, actually,” said Auckland resident Josh Sherbourne. “Suddenly there was this incredible blue flash in the sky like it had all turned to bubblegum flavour, and then this massive streak of orange, and my first thought was ‘Shit, the Saiyans are here.’”

“My girlfriend later explained to me it was a meteor,” he added. “And then I just hoped it had hit the Sky Tower.”

Unfortunately, as engineers inspected Auckland’s giant phallic arrangement this morning, they found no signs of impact.

“Could it not at least have hit the bloody casino?” asked 42-year-old mother of none Angie Bass. “They say now it crashed quite far South of here. Probably just killed a farmer.”

Auckland Mayor Len Brown attempted to comfort Aucklanders today, saying that while it was true that no damage was sustained by the Sky Tower, there were still “plenty of opportunities” on the horizon for “some kind of catastrophic event.”

He noted that Auckland’s vigilance on terrorism was “actually quite poor” and that an attack “could well be imminent. We honestly have no idea.”

“Ultimately, in 20 years time, the Sky Tower is far more likely to no longer exist than, say, Christchurch’s chalice, or whatever the hell that thing in Cromwell is.”