The Green Party caucus has failed to turn up to Parliament today after they decided to celebrate the 60th anniversary of Sir Edmund Hillary’s conquest of Everest by “getting really high, just like he did.”
A red-eyed Russel Norman explained the decision to media at an accidental press conference held on his couch this afternoon.
“Sixty years ago,” said Norman very slowly, “Sir Ed climbed the big mountain, went way up high where planes go. We think all New Zealanders – all of them – should carefully, very carefully, relax and celebrate… that.”
While the majority of Green MPs turned up to the “Getting High Like Hillary” event hosted in Norman’s bedroom, one did end up making it to Parliament for Question Time. That MP was 5th on the list Kennedy Graham, who Norman said hadn’t smoked weed for 20 years, and “wasn’t coping.”
“Point of order, Mr. Speaker,” said Graham this afternoon, standing to interrupt an answer by the Prime Minister. “Where am I?”
“Will the member please leave the chamber?” asked a disgruntled Speaker of the House David Carter.
“No,” said Graham quietly, before sitting back down in his chair and staring blankly into space.
Following Question Time, a number of MPs made their way to Parliament’s cafeteria, where they were disappointed to find that Graham had “eaten everything.”