KiwiBuild house prices soar, finding new value as a collector’s item

More people have died in the shower this year than will die in a KiwiBuild home.

More people have died in the shower this year than will die in a KiwiBuild home.

KiwiBuild home owners are experiencing a surprise windfall this month, as the price of their houses have begun to rise dramatically, due to growing interest in them as collector’s items.

Home collectors from abroad have shown a renewed interest in the houses, due to their extremely limited supply run and charming backstory.

KiwiBuild homes were initially billed by no-longer Housing Minister Phil Twyford as being mass-produced and a widely accessible product, but the Government has retooled the KiwiBuild plan, rebranding the homes as a more boutique item, and scaling down production from 100,000 to what it now calls “somewhat less than that,” or “two hundred.”

Under new Housing Minister Megan Woods, the flagging program looks likely to shift from providing 100,000 affordable homes to making the 40 people who currently have one unspeakably rich.

Margaret Beasley of the International Home Collectors’ Association said interest in KiwiBuild homes is “stirring” amongst collectors.

“Any time you get a limited run of houses like this, you’re going to see interest,” she said, “but I think what makes KiwiBuild homes especially appealing to the people we’re speaking to, is the sheer discrepancy between the proposed number and the actual number. Collectors are often looking for a good story behind the homes they invest in, so they can tell long, winding stories about them to relatives who are barely listening.

“I think the tragic story of KiwiBuild plays into that quite nicely.”

“These are homes that are exceedingly rare now,” she added, “so you can just imagine how rare they might be in a hundred, two hundred years when they’re passed on to children and childrens’ grandchildren. There’s great long term potential.”

Since collectors’ interest has begun to push prices upwards, KiwiBuild ballots have shot up 400%, though a suspicious number are said to be under the names “Twyford”, “Twiford”, “Twinford”, “Drofywt”, “Notphil” and “Typhoid.”