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Leave voters disenchanted as they begin to realise UK is still in same geographical location

Upon inspecting a map, many leave voters are not only shocked the UK remains in Europe, but also surprised that it actually looks even closer than they perceived it to be.

Upon inspecting a map, many leave voters are not only shocked the UK remains in Europe, but also surprised that it actually looks even closer than they perceived it to be.

One week on, British referendum voters who opted to leave the European Union are beginning to feel a sense of disenchantment with their choice, as they start to realise that Great Britain is geographically no further away from Europe than it was prior to the vote.

“I just wanted to get away from France,” said one leave voter. “The other day I took a drive down to Cliffs of Dover, and it’s still fucking there.”

French residents spoken to were equally disappointed.

Shelly Thomas, a 33-year-old woman from Newcastle, said she voted to leave the European Union in hopes that ISIS terrorists intent on blowing up the Queen would have to swim further to get there.

“I checked the map, oh I don’t know John, it was, it would’ve been the other day?” said Thomas. “And it was exactly the same as always is. I supposed they just hadn’t updated it yet, but now I’m starting to wonder.”

Nigel Farage, leader of the UK Independence Party and the only tadpole known never to have turned into a frog, toad, newt, or salamander, is calling on British institutions and international corporations like Google to update their maps.

“Last week, we had a great victory for Great Britain, a great victory for the ordinary people, the working people, the small people, the little people, the tiny people, dwarfs, midgets, and the otherwise very short,” he bellowed before the media yesterday.

“But now, the elite, the big people, the tall people, the fat people, like Google and the other one, are trying to tell us we didn’t have a great victory. They’re trying to tell us that we didn’t leave Europe, that we’re still there. Well I say enough is enough. The campaign is over. End the fight, stop the lies, and change the map.”

While many in mainland Britain are reporting a lack of increased distance from the EU, those living in Northern Ireland say otherwise.

Northern Irish residents living close to the dividing line between the UK and the Republic have reported that their countrymen on the other side do indeed feel “further away than ever.”