Media relieved after thing explodes during slow news week

Today’s train derailment in Baltimore has provided the media with a much needed news item to help remind people that they are never safe from anything.

Today’s train derailment in Baltimore has provided the media with a much needed news item to help remind people that they are never safe from anything.

The world’s western news media are feeling pretty good this morning after the derailment and subsequent explosion of a train in the U.S. state of Maryland.

The train, which crashed into a garbage truck in an eastern suburb of Baltimore, caused an enormous explosion that damaged houses, collapsed buildings and excited reporters dispatched to the scene.

“I was just watching the train come along outside my window there and then it just went boom,” said Baltimore resident Dale Watson.

“Big boom,” he added.

One News U.S. correspondent Jack Tame was at the scene, and described it as “pretty cool.”

“What appears to have happened here is we’ve had some kind of a train derailment,” he said. “Actually fairly common occurrence throughout the world, but what makes this different is we’ve had a big kaboom that’s just made everything go fire and stuff.”

Residents who witnessed the crash said they would never get on a train again, because they were pretty sure that if they did, “this sort of thing would happen.”

Tame said he had been busy helping those residents to reinforce their fear through disproportionate media coverage of the incident.

“We just want people to understand that they ride trains every day,” he said, “or maybe some of them even drive garbage trucks, and even though no one was injured here, that could’ve been them.”

Tame was later seen interviewing a man near the site of the accident.

“Do you think trains are safe?” Tame asked him.

The man went silent for a moment, before looking over his shoulder to the smoldering wreckage of train cars and buildings behind him.

“No, I don’t think they are,” he said.