No one attends dawn service

New Zealanders surveyed about why they didn’t go to their local dawn service said that they felt okay about it because “someone else would go.”

New Zealanders surveyed about why they didn’t go to their local dawn service said that they felt okay about it because “someone else would go.”

In an awkward turn of events, almost no one has attended Anzac Day dawn services this morning after many felt that 5am was too early to wake up.

Organisers across the country have reported that about “five or six people” turned up to ceremonies in Auckland, while “four-ish” turned up in Wellington and three turned out in Christchurch. Meanwhile, in Dunedin, 87 year old war veteran Jerome Wintle was forced to commemorate Anzac Day alone.

Over the years, New Zealanders have made a tradition of waking up early on the morning of April 25th to observe Anzac Day by attending a dawn ceremony commemorating the soldiers who lost their lives in our numerous historical wars. But the number of attendees has been dwindling over the years, and while this hasn’t been unexpected, Auckland organiser Dez Harrison said that today’s turnout was the worst by far.

“I’m beginning to think we need to do this later in the day,” he said.

Among those absent from this morning’s dawn service was Prime Minister John Key, who is now facing heat from the media for not attending.

“Look, I think most New Zealanders would agree that dawn is a little bit early to be getting up,” said Key to a group of reporters this morning. “If I wanted to get there, frankly, I’d have to get up at 4:30am, and that’s when I’m sleeping.”

To help make his point, Key asked who in the room had gone to the dawn service. No one raised their hand.

Others of the 4,405,187 who did not attend included Auckland Mayor Len Brown, who claimed he was stuck in commuter traffic, and Labour Party leader David Shearer, who said he forgot about Anzac Day altogether.

The only sitting politician to have attended this morning’s ceremonies was Christchurch Mayor Bob Parker, who is widely believed to never sleep.

David Shearer expressed his disappoint in himself this morning.

“Yeah, the numbers are pretty abysmal,” he said. “Pretty poor showing by me, too. But I think there might be something to what John [Key] was saying about the time of morning. It’s pretty early.”

Shearer added that Labour was in the process of working on a members’ bill that would seek to middayise all dawn services.