Other News

Steven Joyce is said to be relieved that he'll finally get to go home

Novopay debacle solved by restarting computer

Economic Development Minister Steven Joyce is winning praise this morning after he permanently solved the Novopay debacle by restarting the system’s main computer. Joyce, who was put in charge of fixing the faulty payroll system earlier this year, is today describing the solution as “actually fairly simple, it turns out.” […]

Return of Marmite eases drought

Return of Marmite eases drought

Extreme drought conditions being faced by the country’s North Island are easing today as health food giant Sanitarium re-releases its popular breakfast spread, Marmite. The spread has been off the shelves since March of last year due to production delays stemming from the Christchurch earthquake, and its reintroduction to stores […]

David Shearer suddenly remembers affair

David Shearer suddenly remembers affair

Labour Leader David Shearer has today revealed that, for a two year period between July 2009 and November 2011, he engaged in a romantic affair with a young office worker at his Mt. Albert electorate office in Auckland. Shearer claims that he “only just remembered” the affair and that up […]

Former CEO Don Elder estimates that, were it not for David, the company would be operating with at least a $40 million profit

Solid Energy blames financial trouble on intern

Solid Energy, the state owned coal mining enterprise currently facing financial peril, continues to blame its collapse on 24 year old junior accounting intern, David Fairbrother. Last month the company caused a great deal of public concern when it reported an astonishing loss that expanded its total debt to $389 […]

Peter Jackson is confident that his popular film trilogy would make an excellent book.

Peter Jackson planning novelization of The Hobbit

Award-winning New Zealand director Peter Jackson has said he’s considering a novel adaptation of his popular film trilogy The Hobbit. The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey, the first film in the series, was released late last year to widespread popularity, grossing more than $1,000,000,000 worldwide at the box office. That success […]

Tui billboards all a big misunderstanding

Tui billboards all a big misunderstanding

Beer brewing giant DB Breweries has been horrified to learn that, for many years, people have been taking their iconic Tui billboards sarcastically. The billboards, established to advertise DB’s famous brand of Tui beer, feature short statements on a black background next to a red panel that reads “Yeah right.” […]