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Morgan is able to pull off his reason-defying stunts due to having been born with an unusually heavy brain, estimated to be nearly twice the mass of the average Gareth.

Gareth Morgan wins Mental Gymnast of the Decade at Halberg Awards

Businessman and former politician Gareth Morgan was awarded Mental Gymnast of the Decade at last night’s Halberg Awards, beating out a field of stiff competition to claim his first sporting accolade. This year’s Halberg Awards were a special edition of the long-running sports award ceremony, recognizing not just accomplishments from […]

PICTURED: Grant Robertson lays out the Government’s latest half-hearted attempt to win over readers of The Spinoff.

Landlords threaten to install uneven stairs, put light switches in awkward places if bright-line test is extended

The nation’s landlords are panning the Government’s proposed housing changes, saying that extending the bright-line test from 5 to 10 years will do nothing to curb rising house prices, and will in fact force them to raise rent on their tenants, install uneven stairs in their flats, and put their […]

Physicists at Auckland University want to understand why our nation’s shitholes are so hard to buy, and when it might finally end.

Scientists begin search for elusive ‘capital gain particle’ to explain runaway housing market

A team of physicists from Auckland’s The University of Auckland are preparing a series of experiments to uncover a mysterious elementary particle that may be responsible for New Zealand’s runaway housing market. The announcement comes as price increases around the country continue to defy expectations, economics, and even the physical […]

A decision on a travel bubble date is set to be announced in two weeks, though the Prime Minister’s preamble on that day could as much as double the wait.

First phase of trans-Tasman bubble will see quarantine-free travel for Australia’s deportees

While New Zealanders eagerly anticipate Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern’s April 6th announcement on reopening to Australia, Australian Prime Minister Scott Morrison has hinted what the earliest stages of a trans-Tasman travel bubble might look like. Both Prime Ministers have indicated the bubble may be introduced in a staggered manner, with […]

National are dismissing tonight’s election result as an “obvious outlier”

National rejects tonight’s result as a ‘rogue poll’

Half an hour into counting, National Party leader Judith Collins and deputy leader Gerry Brownlee are already dismissing tonight’s election result as a “rogue poll”, saying it’s an incomplete survey with shoddy methodology. Brownlee called an emergency media stand-up just 10 minutes ago to contest the results. “We don’t normally […]

Dr. Ashley Bloomfield reported at today’s 1pm health briefing that the Coronavirus turns out not to exist, but that information was also withheld on the same grounds.

Jacinda Ardern ran down four National supporters with her car this morning but due to electoral law we couldn’t report it until now

Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern began her election morning by ruthlessly driving her car into a family of National supporters just blocks from her Auckland home. Ardern, driving a white Hyundai Ioniq, apparently snapped when she saw the family wearing National Party rosettes on their way to the local polling booth, […]