All the news that's fit on a page 
In a highly anticipated press conference this afternoon, All Blacks coach Steve Hansen has finally unveiled the team’s boat for its Rugby World Cup 2019 campaign. In a press conference that went from excitement, to confusion, to cautious enthusiasm, to awkward silence and back, Hansen lifted a giant black sheet […]
In a move that comes seemingly out of nowhere, Police Minister Stuart Nash announced this afternoon that he expects all frontline staff to don bearskin hats, famously worn by The Queen’s Guard at Buckingham Palace. Nash, well-known for being named Nash, made the announcement to media in Parliament’s foyer, who […]
I am every bit as angry as you are. I am every bit as disappointed as you must be. The people with power, oversight and the ability to do something about these processes within the Labour Party should be ashamed. Whoever those people are, I am running out of patience […]
The following is a press release from the office of Simon Bridges, leader of The National Party. Key ora, New Zealand. Happy Maori Language Week. Look, I’m writing to you today because I want to clear something up. There’s been a lot of kerfuffle around some things that I said […]
Air New Zealand has confirmed a flight to Los Angeles last night was turned back about a quarter of the way into its journey, due to a general consensus that passengers didn’t want to go anymore. It was initially assumed that flight NZ2 had returned due to an engineering issue, […]
Cadbury could be seeking to make itself great again with a rumoured new release: Pineapple Trumps, a spin on its classic chocolate-encased pineapple treat and do-it-yourself tooth remover. The global confectionery manufacturer and bumbling “before” character in an infomercial, had its brand new creation leaked this afternoon after a hastily-photoshopped […]