All the news that's fit on a page 
In his first budget as Finance Minister, Grant Robertson announced today that the Labour Government will be passing a projected increase in cost of health services onto broadcaster and former cricketer Mark Richardson, citing a lack of willingness to take “a cut in our revenue.” Starting next financial year, Richardson […]
Regional Development Minister and leading suspect in the disappearance of the Glenfield Peaches & Cream DVD section Shane Jones, announced today that as part of a previously confidential clause in the Labour-New Zealand First coalition agreement, Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern’s newly born baby will be shipped to the regions, just […]
Foreign Minister Winston Peters has held a press conference on very short notice this afternoon, to announce that the government will be seeking a blanket ban on vodka and related products. The move is a transparent attempt to make the government look like it’s doing something about Russia, in the […]
Following the ball-tampering scandal that has rocked the cricket world, Cricket Australia today announced its sanctions on all players not involved with the plot to cheat in the third test against South Africa in Cape Town over the weekend. The national cricket body has taken severe disciplinary action against the […]
Some vindication for the Prime Minister and her foreign minister today, as leaked census data shows that the number of Russian spies in New Zealand is relatively small, as compared to the general population. Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern, along with Foreign Minister Winston Peters, have been under fire this week […]
The Black Caps’ famous test win over England in Auckland has been marred today, by accusations that skipper Kane Williamson introduced a series of foreign objects to the field in order to tamper with the score. Cameras at Eden Park caught what appeared to be four distinct objects being used […]