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Māori Language Week with The Civilian

Māori Language Week with The Civilian

Kia ora, Aotearoa. It’s that magical time of year. Te Wiki o te Reo Māori. In English, the week that frightens talk radio. As you probably know by now, all your favourite media outlets are participating, some more successfully than others. Stuff has changed its name to Puna for the […]

Air New Zealand couldn't believe its luck that this seemingly ideal piece of real estate had so far gone entirely unnoticed.

Air New Zealand identifies this enormous plot of unused land as possible second airport site

Air New Zealand’s search for a site to build a second Auckland Airport may have made a breakthrough this afternoon, after employees scanning Google satellite imagery spotted a huge, unused piece of land near the existing airport that they believe would be “perfect” for another one. “This piece of land […]

Gayford, pictured here on The Project, before things got wildly out of control.

Ardern attempts to vaccinate Clarke Gayford live on television to prove that it’s safe

A bold public relations move by the Government to encourage parents to vaccinate their children has gone horribly wrong. Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern appeared on tonight’s episode of Three’s The Project, where the plan was for her to personally vaccinate her widely beloved fisherman-come-partner Clarke Gayford. Public relations consultants in […]

Mr. Whippy's business model has driven it down a dark road of intimidation.

Has Mr. Whippy gone too far by parking on our front lawns?

Residents in major centres around the country are becoming disgruntled by the increasingly aggressive actions of purported ice cream company Mr. Whippy, who have taken to parking on people’s front lawns and doorsteps in a desperate attempt to sell $7 watered down soft serve. Mr. Whippy is facing a series […]

Following publication of this article, the Ministry has requested it to be noted that this supplied image is not necessarily representative of what the final house will look like, and it "probably won't be that nice."

Government says it will now build just one really nice home

As part of today’s long-anticipated reset of the Government’s flagship KiwiBuild policy, Housing Minister Megan Woods says the number of houses to be built in the next 8 years has been “scaled back” from 100,000 affordable homes to just one really nice home. Woods was forced into formally declaring a […]

Dum-de-doo.

Experts warn Harold the Giraffe “well past” typical giraffe life expectancy, may not have long

Children across New Zealand have known him for generations as the lovable giraffe who tells them to exercise, hydrate and not to shove lit cigarettes up their nostrils. But a world renowned giraffe expert says we shouldn’t be getting attached to Life Education’s Harold the Giraffe, as he is unlikely […]