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Yesterday morning, I waltzed into work, and as I walked past the drones aggressively typing out news on the computers I’ve repeatedly asked to be moved further away from, I caught a glimpse of the words “climate change”, and noticed that suspiciously they weren’t in condescending quotation marks. That’s not […]
When the All Blacks face South Africa in their first match of next month’s Rugby World Cup, Steve Hansen’s bold plan to field 16 players by stacking two All Blacks on top of each other in a giant black coat will finally be put to the test. Hansen has been […]
Opposition leader Simon Bridges has criticized the Government’s plan to give primary and intermediate school children free lunches, saying that they could “become dependent” on them, and not know how to fare for themselves when National takes power. Bridges, who has been riding a wave of momentum afforded to him […]
31-year-old Jeffrey Twigg finally got out of bed this evening after the 2019 Cricket World Cup final between New Zealand and England. With a blood alcohol concentration of 380mg, Twigg went to bed on the morning of July 15th, immediately following the final, the specific events of which cannot be […]
Responding to National’s announcement that it would raise the retirement age from 65 to 67 in 2037, ACT leader David Seymour has announced his party’s intention to see the age raised to 69. “After extensive consultation with caucus, and with my friends of ACT on Campus, I’m proud to announce […]
A truly adorable scene from Parliament yesterday has gone viral, after Speaker Trevor Mallard cradled an extremely drunk Shane Jones in his arms while the House was in session. Loud “awwww”s could be heard around the chamber as the Regional Development Minister, absolutely tuckered from a long morning of heavy […]