Other News

Labour proposes repeal of National Government

Labour proposes repeal of National Government

Just one day before the government releases its 2013 budget, Labour has threatened to derail it – as well as the last four budgets – by announcing a policy to repeal the entire National Government. The policy, announced by leader David Shearer late this morning, would be the party’s top […]

The story of Aaron Gilmore ended this afternoon in precisely the same dignified manner it began.

Gilmore: ‘I am dead’

Outgoing National MP Aaron Gilmore has used his final speech in Parliament this afternoon to assert that he is dead, and that his presence in the House was not of the natural world, but rather the visitation of a ghostly apparition who had returned to haunt those who brought about […]

Meteorologists concerned about large offshore H

Meteorologists concerned about large offshore H

Meteorologists are expressing grave concerns for several of the country’s coastal towns this afternoon after the discovery of an enormous letter H just off the east coast of New Zealand. The H, which is estimated to be 300-400km in length and 200-300km in width, is moving rapidly to the northwest, […]

John Key, Steven Joyce play pokies to raise money for convention centre

John Key, Steven Joyce play pokies to raise money for convention centre

Prime Minister John Key and Economic Development Minister Steven Joyce are indicating they might “flag” Parliament tomorrow after they both became preoccupied playing on poker machines at the SkyCity Casino in Auckland. The men have been seated across from one another at two of the casino’s machines since 8am this […]

Aaron Gilmore to return to life as suave billionaire

Aaron Gilmore to return to life as suave billionaire

Following careful reflection and consultation with friends and family, revered National MP Aaron Gilmore – who was widely tipped to be a future leader of the party – has decided to resign from Parliament and return to his civilian life as a successful multibillionaire who moonlights as a secret agent […]

Mighty River Power shares sell out on first day

Mighty River Power shares sell out on first day

The New Zealand stock exchange has reported this afternoon that it has sold out of shares in the newly floated Mighty River Power company. The company, which is being partially privatized as part of the government’s asset sales strategy, was listed on the exchange for the first time today, but […]