Other News

Meteorologists concerned about large offshore H

Meteorologists concerned about large offshore H

Meteorologists are expressing grave concerns for several of the country’s coastal towns this afternoon after the discovery of an enormous letter H just off the east coast of New Zealand. The H, which is estimated to be 300-400km in length and 200-300km in width, is moving rapidly to the northwest, […]

John Key, Steven Joyce play pokies to raise money for convention centre

John Key, Steven Joyce play pokies to raise money for convention centre

Prime Minister John Key and Economic Development Minister Steven Joyce are indicating they might “flag” Parliament tomorrow after they both became preoccupied playing on poker machines at the SkyCity Casino in Auckland. The men have been seated across from one another at two of the casino’s machines since 8am this […]

Aaron Gilmore to return to life as suave billionaire

Aaron Gilmore to return to life as suave billionaire

Following careful reflection and consultation with friends and family, revered National MP Aaron Gilmore – who was widely tipped to be a future leader of the party – has decided to resign from Parliament and return to his civilian life as a successful multibillionaire who moonlights as a secret agent […]

Mighty River Power shares sell out on first day

Mighty River Power shares sell out on first day

The New Zealand stock exchange has reported this afternoon that it has sold out of shares in the newly floated Mighty River Power company. The company, which is being partially privatized as part of the government’s asset sales strategy, was listed on the exchange for the first time today, but […]

Duncan Garner smokes synthetic cannabis brand Juicy Puff, which he says has “absolutely nothing” to do with his fear of a global spider caliphate.

‘There are spiders everywhere,’ reports stoned Duncan Garner

Television host and RadioLIVE presenter Duncan Garner has filed an in-depth report for 3 News about spiders, which he says are “practically everywhere right now.” Garner, who has been smoking synthetic cannabis brand Juicy Puff to demonstrate the dangers of the product, burst into the TV3 newsroom yesterday with a […]

McDonald’s New Zealand managing director Patrick Wilson says he hopes to make the return of Georgie Pie as disappointing as possible.

New Zealanders eager to be disappointed by return of Georgie Pie

New Zealanders over the age of 20 are excited and anxious today after McDonald’s announced that it would be relaunching its previously defunct Georgie Pie brand, with many reporting that they simply can’t wait to experience an uncomfortable mixture of nostalgia and disappointment followed by the stinging sensation of regret. […]