Other News

By Batman.

Opinion: I’m not a fucktard. I’m Batman

I’ve been silent too long. But that’s who I am. A silent protector. A watchful guardian. A circumspect observer. An alert custodian. A vigilant sentry. A wary chaperone. A cautious shepherd. A politic bystander. A dark knight. I’m sorry. Sometimes I get lost in my own publicity. I was willing […]

Original copy of Book of Genesis found in hotel drawer

Original copy of Book of Genesis found in hotel drawer

What many believe to be the original copy of the Bible’s Book of Genesis was found hidden away in the drawer of a hotel in eastern France yesterday. The discovery was made by French biblical scholar Simon Claude Mimouni, who was staying at the Hôtel de Guise in the small […]

David Shearer gives speech about economy; what it is, how it works

David Shearer gives speech about economy; what it is, how it works

Labour Leader David Shearer took to the stage in the Wellington suburb of Brooklyn today to give a major speech about the economy, in which he described what it is and roughly how it works. “The economy is the collective system of financial transactions between individuals and/or corporations,” said Shearer […]

Steven Joyce encourages overpaid teachers to pay underpaid teachers

Steven Joyce encourages overpaid teachers to pay underpaid teachers

Economic Development Minister Steven Joyce announced yesterday that the government would maintain the struggling Novopay payments system for teachers, despite numerous and continuing problems since its implementation. He said that the government would continue working hard to iron out the remaining issues, but in the meantime he is encouraging teachers […]

The news media was relieved this morning to find that John Key had said something slightly off message about Wellington.

Media saved from end of bullshit news story by arrival of another

New Zealand’s media are breathing a sigh of relief this morning after a bullshit story with zero news value miraculously saved them from the end of another. Journalists, who were beginning to fear that they might have to cover real news, were anxious after this morning’s press conference with disgraced […]

Aaron Gilmore threatens to use political position to end own career

Aaron Gilmore threatens to use political position to end own career

Beleaguered National MP Aaron Gilmore was reportedly heard by neighbours last night having a loud argument with himself, in which he threatened to use his lack of political muscle to end his own career. Neighbours say they didn’t hear the entire argument, which took place at the MP’s Christchurch home, […]