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Peter Dunne suddenly wakes up in pool of blood at press conference

Peter Dunne says he will be resigning as a minister, because he has “failed [his] own personal test” of not appearing to have killed someone.

Peter Dunne says he will be resigning as a minister, because he has “failed [his] own personal test” of not appearing to have killed someone.

Revenue Minister Peter Dunne has suddenly woken up this afternoon in a pool of blood at the Beehive, surrounded by microphones and reporters.

Dunne told waiting media that he had “no idea” what was happening, and that he “can’t possibly rationalise” the events of the last few days.

As he came to, he was repeatedly asked by an aggressive press pool whether he leaked the Kitteridge Report into the conduct of the Government Communications Security Bureau.

“Yes, well I think something a bit more has gone on here,” said Dunne, looking down at his blood-stained torso.

Reporters seemed unfazed by Dunne’s appearance, and never once acknowledged the blood dripping from his jaw or the human bones splayed out across the floor.

Dunne signed off his unintentional press conference by saying that he would resign his ministerial portfolios, because “whatever I’ve done, it looks pretty bad.”