Peter Williams gets bored of reading screens, starts making news up

One News’ Peter Williams reports that several blues whales have washed up on the Coromandel Coast.

One News’ Peter Williams reports that several blues whales have washed up on the Coromandel Coast.

After more than 30 years of news reading, TVNZ’s Peter Williams has grown bored of reciting a poorly written script off a screen in front of him, and has instead resorted to simply making up news and then saying it at the country.

Tens of thousands were sent into a collective panic this afternoon after Williams began reading his own news on TV One’s midday broadcast.

“700 dead in North Shore mall fire,” announced Williams, as a large image of flames appeared on the screens behind him. “Fire crews on the scene report that the blaze at the Westfield mall in Albany remains out of control, and are asking anyone in the area to keep clear of the complex.

“Authorities say that anyone concerned about a friend or loved one who may have been at the mall should call this number.”

Williams then proceeded to give his own cell phone number.

“In other news,” said Williams, turning to a different camera, “the Prime Minister has been shot.”

Williams went on to deliver the news that Russia had cancelled the Winter Olympics, that NASA had discovered an extraterrestrial race of sentient pumpkins, and that he had been appointed as the CEO of TVNZ.

“And now for the weather,” he declared, standing up and pointing the camera out a nearby window.

Sources close to Williams say that he’s been having “a tough time lately,” is “dealing with the loss of some friends,” and asked everyone to “just bear with it” for a few weeks, “until he gets it out of his system.”

TVNZ Director of News John Gillespie said that while it was the kind of behaviour they would normally punish, Williams “has been here a long time,” “is a bit lonely at the moment,” and “probably needs this right now.”

Williams’ erroneous report has already caused some trouble at rival station TV3, after it re-reported one of his stories, believing it to be true.

3 News has apologised for their mistake, but said it was hard for them to verify the story, as they usually get all their information from TV One.