Police offer $56,000 reward to anyone who finds police commissioner’s car keys

Police Commissioner Mike Bush says it is against protocol for police money to be used to simply buy him a new car, but the offering of a reward is “standard practice.”

Police Commissioner Mike Bush says it is against protocol for police money to be used to simply buy him a new car, but the offering of a reward is “standard practice.”

The New Zealand police are offering a special monetary reward of $56,000 to anyone in the country who can successfully locate the private car keys of Police Commissioner Mike Bush.

Bush, who was unable to find the keys to his brand new Holden Captiva after coming home from work last night, described finding them as a “matter of national importance.”

A press conference was held at 2pm this afternoon to announce the reward.

“So uhhh, I came home last night at about, I’d say, 7pm,” said Bush, to a group of reporters. “And uhhhhh, I ordered some fish and chips from the chippy.

“About uhhhhh, 3 scoops.

“So I went to uhhh pick them up, and, well, I couldn’t find my keys.

“I couldn’t sworn I put them on the kitchen bench, but they, uhm, uhhh, they weren’t there, no.”

He said police were appealing to “anyone in the public who may have seen a set of keys with a little Pokemon toy on the end.”

Bush insisted that the Pokemon toy was not his, and in fact belonged to his son.

“I am not even aware of what the Moltr– uhhh, the Pokemon is called,” he added.

“Shit,” he whispered under his breath.

Some reporters at the press conference raised concerns about where the money was coming from, and whether this was the best use of it.

“Look, uhhh, as a national police force, we have a certain amount of money allocated to offer rewards like these,” said Bush, in response to a direct question on the matter. “We find that it is, uhhhh, often a very effective means through which to, uhhhh, gather information.

“Right now, as you’ll know, probably, there’s nothing, uhhh, too urgent going on the country, so we thought that this was a suitable use of those funds.”

“Why specifically $56,000?” asked a young Herald journalist.

“That’s uhhh, roughly how much we have left,” said Bush.

Police Minister Michael Woodhouse refused to comment on the reward, saying he was not about to tell police “how to do their jobs.”

“I think any of us who’ve lost our car keys at one time or another know how stressful that can be,” he said. “I think like most New Zealanders I trust our robust and honourable police force to make the best decisions in the interests of public safety, and I’ll leave it at that, thanks.”

Asked whether he had looked “under the couch” or “in the bathroom” for his keys, Bush said he had not thought of that.