Robertson refuses to release budget; says you’ll just have to find it on the website

Fears are growing in Cabinet that Robertson might even have changed the ending to the budget after National dropped several major spoilers.

Fears are growing in Cabinet that Robertson might even have changed the ending to the budget after National dropped several major spoilers.

After a world-first role reversal in which the Government’s website crashed its budget, Finance Minister Grant Robertson has bitterly refused to publicly release the document today, saying that if people want it, they’ll “just have to go find it.”

“Seeing as you’re so fucking good at it,” he added.

Robertson appears to be bitter, after opposition leader Simon Bridges began leaking portions of the 2019 Budget several days in advance.

Bridges would not be drawn on how he got the leaked copy, or whether it was from the giant “BUDGET 2019” link on the Treasury’s website.

Nonetheless, Robertson said National would have to “find the budget again” if they had any hopes of knowing what was in it.

Journalists have spent most of the day trying to work out where the budget is, searching all government websites, bins, Wellington public spaces, and even Robertson’s home.

Robertson told journalists they could “get absolutely fucked” if they thought he’d work on it “at home.”

Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern, who has privately urged Robertson to “let it go” and “please just release our budget,” told Parliament today she thought Robertson would “calm down eventually” and that he “just has to get this out of his system.”

“Oh, look, yeah, yeah, I think Grant is just frustrated, uhm, and all I can say is, we’re all very much hoping he releases it very, very soon,” she said, “and that the giant fire in Karori right now isn’t all the copies.”

Some Wellingtonians claim they saw Robertson, shirt untucked and tie missing, chucking copies in the harbour in the early hours of this morning.

One commuter said he heard Robertson yell “Try finding them now!” as he marched back uptown.

Opposition leader and mafia henchman in a 1990s crime movie Simon Bridges said Robertson would have to “get over it” and accept what happens when important documents are left unsecured.

He was confident that nobody could steal any intelligence from National’s website.