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Supposedly ‘waterproof’ iPhone 7 still can’t be thrown into rapids or fed to a shark

A recent study of thousands of news articles has shown that practically no one reads picture captions.

A recent study of thousands of news articles has shown that practically no one reads picture captions.

Apple has once again disappointed with its latest iPhone, after users report that the supposedly “waterproof” device can still be damaged irreparably if thrown into fast moving rapids or fed to an angry shark.

Apple has always cautioned users that the label “waterproof” does come with certain caveats, but early reviewers of the device feel that the iPhone 7 falls “well short” of being anything close to impervious to damage by water or water-related sources, such as sharks, boats and crayfish.

This apparently in stark contrast to Apple promos that show the phone being used to film underwater without any apparent concern for its safety.

Fairfax tech reviewer Jackson May took his early access iPhone 7 on a boating trip to try and ascertain just how waterproof the device was.

“Obviously before taking it out on the open ocean, I did the basic things you’d expect,” he explained. “I put it in a bowl of water, I ran the tap on it, I took it in the shower, and I will admit, it seemed to cope with all of this reasonably well. So, at this stage, it appeared waterproof, but I wanted to be sure, so I decided to put it to a real test.

“I hired a boat, sailed out to quite some depths, took it underwater, took some pictures, ran it over with the boat a few times, fed it to a shark I’d lured with my own blood, and now it’s… gone.”

May said he was “deeply” disappointed with the results.

“Every year, Apple or Samsung or whoever it might be come out saying their phone is ‘waterproof’ to this degree or that degree, but it’s apparent from my tests that we still have yet to see a truly waterproof phone.”

He said the phone had “worse than malfunctioned” from its exposure to being eaten by a shark, as he now didn’t even have it anymore.

Other tech reviewers have recorded similarly disappointing results, with the phone reportedly shattering or failing to turn on again after being thrown into white water rapids, put on the end of a fishing hook, and boiled on a kitchen stove.

Apple is disputing the claims its iPhone 7 is unable to survive mauling by shark, saying any instances of sharks eating the device will rapidly drop off once they realise it doesn’t have a headphone jack.