Uh oh! Team NZ setback: What they’ve built isn’t even a boat

The Government is demanding an explanation from Team New Zealand after investing money into what appears to be 1990s Sedan.

The Government is demanding an explanation from Team New Zealand after investing money into what appears to be 1990s Sedan.

Well this is embarrassing.

Emirates Team New Zealand have had to acknowledge a massive setback today, as it’s revealed the watercraft they’ve built for this year’s America’s cup isn’t even actually a boat.

With just a week to go until the start of the competition, this sure looks like a big faux pas for boss Grant Dalton, who promised the Government he would have “a boat” come competition time.

“Admittedly, this is not a boat,” said Dalton this afternoon, standing next to what looked more like a 1997 Chrysler Concorde with little fins attached.

“I can explain,” he added, before shuffling slowly away from news cameras.

An explanation from Dalton is still pending at this hour, but director Stephen Tindall shared some insight into how the design played out.

“Well we lost last time, as you know,” explained Tindall. “So this time we didn’t really want to constrain the design. We just said to everybody ‘Right, don’t worry about how this will win a race just yet, just, put in things you like.’

“We just assumed we could make it seaworthy later, make some adjustments once we had the base model, so don’t worry, you know? But obviously what we’ve got here is a car.”

Tindall sighed audibly and rested his head in his hands.

“Oh god.”

Representatives for Team NZ say it’s “too late” to begin another design, and they’ll have to race the Chrysler.

“At the moment, there’s a bit of a panic down at the docks,” said one source close to the team. “People running around, putting floatation devices on the wheels, adding extra fins, putting a sail on it, a motor at the back, but ultimately, I just think we’ll have to race it as it is.”

Initial trial runs are said to have been quite promising, with the watercraft performing “very well” on land.