Other News

National are dismissing tonight’s election result as an “obvious outlier”

National rejects tonight’s result as a ‘rogue poll’

Half an hour into counting, National Party leader Judith Collins and deputy leader Gerry Brownlee are already dismissing tonight’s election result as a “rogue poll”, saying it’s an incomplete survey with shoddy methodology. Brownlee called an emergency media stand-up just 10 minutes ago to contest the results. “We don’t normally […]

Dr. Ashley Bloomfield reported at today’s 1pm health briefing that the Coronavirus turns out not to exist, but that information was also withheld on the same grounds.

Jacinda Ardern ran down four National supporters with her car this morning but due to electoral law we couldn’t report it until now

Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern began her election morning by ruthlessly driving her car into a family of National supporters just blocks from her Auckland home. Ardern, driving a white Hyundai Ioniq, apparently snapped when she saw the family wearing National Party rosettes on their way to the local polling booth, […]

Six weird animals that have nothing to do with the election

Six weird animals that have nothing to do with the election

Get a load of these things! Some of these animals are just crazy. You wouldn’t want a single one of these animals anywhere near your kids. It could ruin them for life. Last thing you’d want is your kid growing up around any of these, and thinking that’s what animals […]

1pm Covid Health Update for 17th October, 2020

1pm Covid Health Update for 17th October, 2020

What follows is today’s 1pm health update from the Ministry of Health There are 12 new cases of Covid-19 today, six in managed isolation, three escaped, and three are wealthy foreigners so it’s fine. One of these cases is a man in his 50s who visited Auckland sex club Fisting […]

This is a breaking news event, and further updates and clarifications may be forthcoming.

National caucus convening to elect new leader for final 2 hours of the campaign

With less than three hours to go in the election campaign, The National Party is holding an emergency meeting to elect a new leader, one they hope can turn things around in the final one and a half to two hours before the election. The meeting was called after tonight’s […]

Collins says she was “ever so close” to finishing everything up, but a family member died, her computer crashed, and she just needs “a little more time” to get things right.

Judith Collins asking for two week extension on election due date

In a late move this evening, Judith Collins has written an urgent letter to the Electoral Commission requesting a two week extension on her current election project, citing reasons of “personal hardship” for being unable to complete it by tomorrow’s due date. Collins cited feeling “a bit under the weather”, […]