Ardern attempts to vaccinate Clarke Gayford live on television to prove that it’s safe

Gayford, pictured here on The Project, before things got wildly out of control.

Gayford, pictured here on The Project, before things got wildly out of control.

A bold public relations move by the Government to encourage parents to vaccinate their children has gone horribly wrong.

Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern appeared on tonight’s episode of Three’s The Project, where the plan was for her to personally vaccinate her widely beloved fisherman-come-partner Clarke Gayford.

Public relations consultants in the Labour Party figured it would be a good way to allay the fears of the vaccine-wary public, while also providing a cute on-air moment to boost the Prime Minister’s personal favourability.

The Project was considered an ideal place for the stunt, due to its relaxed nature and the world’s most easily amused studio audience.

But the plan began to unravel live on national television as Gayford became mortally afraid of the needle, and resisted the MMR vaccine.

“I’ve already been vaccinated,” a visibly nervous Clarke was seen whispering to Ardern just as the segment was about to begin. “I don’t think we should do this.”

“It’s just for TV,” she reassured him.

Despite Gayford’s obvious hesitation, Project host Jesse Mulligan went full steam ahead with the segment.

“Well, we’ve got something very special for you tonight,” he said, as the audience inexplicably erupted with laughter. “If anyone out there is still concerned about getting their child vaccinated, or thinks it’s part of some spooky government conspiracy to give you autism…” Mulligan paused again for laughter, which was delivered riotously. “Then I have this to ask you: if the MMR vaccine was dangerous, would the Prime Minister vaccinate her fiancée live here on The Project?”

Some faint whispers of “maybe” were heard from the audience.

The camera cut to a now-frustrated Ardern, standing over a squirming Clarke Gayford, already halfway off his chair in the middle of the studio.

“No!” he yelled at Ardern, batting her hand away. “That’s fucking huge!”

He leaned so far away from the Prime Minister that he fell sideways onto the floor, before scrambling to his feet off screen.

Crashing could be heard as medical supervisors and production staff chased Gayford around the studio, while cameras cut to a perplexed Jeremy Corbett and Kanoa Lloyd.

An horrific scream preceded Gayford once again running past the camera, dripping with blood. This went on for some minutes.

After the use of significant physical force, and an unplanned ad break, Gayford was able to be placated, and eventually accepted the vaccine, disguised by placing it on a fishing hook, which he took willingly.

A nervously smiling Ardern joined the panel in the final few minutes of the show to reassure parents that “it usually doesn’t go like that.”

Kanoa Lloyd interjected to note that she did remember her own vaccination actually being “quite similar” to what they’d just seen, “right down to the fishing hook.”

The Government is calling the on-air vaccination a success, but medical experts believe the chaotic scenes, blood, and Gayford repeatedly screaming “HELP!” into the camera may have had a negative impact.

“This is a complete disaster,” said the Immunisation Advisory Centre’s Nikki Turner. “Vaccination rates may never recover from this.”

Anti-vax groups are also unconvinced, saying the stunt was “meaningless” without a follow-up test to see if Clarke is now autistic.

Tonight’s stunt hearkens back to the time Prime Minister John Key ate a kiwi live on television just to see if we were missing out on anything.